Last night I had the ultimate artist dream....and while I'm now awake I can't help feeling that there's very little I can do to make it become my desired reality.
And thus lies the obvious thread which leads to a certain lack of confidence that prevents me from blowing my own artistic horn.
I have no lack of confidence in regards to creating my artwork but for some Catholic reason (who else can I blame it on) I have trouble in the self promotion arena.
Last night's dream was the Frank Capra film of my artistic life. It was a finished project that just kept delivering every hope and dream that I possess regarding my artistic endeavors.
Maybe if I reveal the dream in as much detail as possible then physical reality might take notice and allow a non-physical dream to become a physical truth.
Of course as I tell the story some things might get blurry because dreams are by nature a product of our subconscious.... and God only ( or only God) knows what's going on down in that subterranean arena of our existence.
BUT HERE'S AN AWAKENED INTERPRETATION
I was helping someone ( and who that was, seems vague) have a sale of various objects. It was a giant garage and yard sale but I had an area inside a small building with some of my artwork mixed in with other assorted items. The art was from various earlier periods of my life. There were no current examples of what I do (as in the picture shown above).
I had some large pieces and a few small pieces hanging on the wall and leaning against some cabinets. I went outside for a few minutes and two women and one man were walking around the yard, which seemed to be like a school yard. It was full of furniture and various objects that one would find at a large yard sale. One of the women was quite attractive ( it's my dream) and she was looking at me with a hint of curiosity as I spoke with her male friend. He seemed to be Charles in charge of the group and he started talking about artwork. I wasn't really paying attention because I had moved closer to the AFP ( attractive female person) and suddenly she and I were talking like we had known each other for years.
She asked what I did and I said I was an artist....which is the first step to art nirvana or the second step to ridicule and rejection.
Telling people that you are an artist while not generating an income from that occupation, reduces the occupation to a hobby which reduces an artist to a person who buys stuff from Michael's and clutters up his life. (That's why I shop at Blicks so at least I have that going for me)
I seemed nervous talking about my art and was much more interested in talking to her about......her. She kept moving me in the direction that she wanted but at the same time was acting like she really was personally interested in who I was.....and she liked that I was trying to learn more about her.
That part of the dream was quite memorable because we were growing closer and it felt extremely nice.
Her two friends came over to where we were standing and listened for a few seconds and then the man asked if I had any of my artwork at the sale. I took them inside the building where my stuff was and discovered nothing was where it should have been.....in fact I couldn't find any of my art. I kept looking around and then they started looking around and I was feeling very nervous and very confused....which really made the dream seem real. Then the man called me over to the side of the room and said that some paintings were hidden behind a big chalkboard. I walked over and lifted the board away from the wall and there were my pieces.
I looked around the room and wondered who would have done that and why. I pulled the pieces out and laid them in from of the chalkboard and the four of us stood there for a few seconds and then the man and the other woman walked away mumbling something that I couldn't hear. The women that I had shared a moment with told me that my colors were pleasant but she didn't see the story she was looking for. She leaned in and gave me a soft kiss on the mouth and said she would be back.
I stood there for a moment and looked at my old pieces of artwork and realized that I was not presenting the entire picture. I walked outside and the three of them were standing by a table when I walked up and said...."so you guys want to hear a story?" The man said, "that's exactly want they wanted to hear."
I told my puzzle story.
"On December 27, 1991 at 3 am I was having a dream. Jackson Pollock and I were sitting at big round oak table in a dinning room and we were both smoking cigarettes and he was drinking something in a glass. He seemed quite relaxed and friendly and he said the exact following words......
'Tim, I really like your color sense and I get the flow thing you are trying to achieve but if you really want to fuck with people you should make puzzles of my artwork.'
It woke me and sat me up.
I've only had two dreams in my life that sat me up and the other one is also a doozy but that's another story for another time.
The next day I went to my factory/office, which happened to be a family wholesale artwork business and made my first puzzle designed like a Jackson Pollock painting. I started a company called...ART IS A PUZZLE with the logo that said......BUT YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT and within four weeks had created around 100 puzzles. Each puzzle was an original and each puzzle had a custom box that matched the colors of the puzzle inside. Each puzzle was hand-signed with approximately 18-24 pieces and measured 11 x 14 inches. ART IS A PUZZLE was intended as a personalized gift that would sit on a coffee table and retail for around $59.00. A 18 to 22 pieces puzzle could take 30 to 90 minutes to complete depending on your puzzle solving ability. My son who was 13 at the time could do one in 15 to 20 minutes. My girl friend at the time took considerably longer.
My first appointment was with Sharper Image and I was well received and promised an order for all stores during the upcoming fall season.
But after a few months I decided that my puzzles needed to hang on the wall and by using sheet metal and magnet strips I was able to create large puzzles that I sold in galleries.....like the one you see over there.
I pointed to a wall where one of my puzzles was hanging and the man looked over and said......'are you telling me that picture is a puzzle?' I looked at the woman who had kissed me and said, 'that's not only a puzzle but it's the last one I did in my Puzzle Period."
She looked at me and said...."You had a puzzle period?" She then looked at her friends and said, "Sounds like we've found our story. why don't you tell him what we do." I walked over to her and quietly said, "that's not even close to the story that might break your heart." She leaned in toward me and gave me a another kiss on the cheek and said, "we've got plenty of time for that later."
The man started talking like a salesman and I had trouble following him but it sounded like a huge bunch of bullshit and I started feeling like they were trying to sell me something.
I stopped him and explained that all I had was a body of work covering the last 30 years with most of the work having been completed in the last ten years. I wasn't financially able to participate in whatever they were planning so all I had was what I've done and if that wasn't enough then there was nothing further for us to talk about. I explained that it would cost around $10,000 to have my current work framed and another $5000 to put on a proper show.
The man and the other woman simply started walking away and the woman who kissed me walked over and said...."I want to see all your work and I want to hear other stories that relate to your art. Those two people work for me at my gallery and the project they are working on is completely separate from what I normally do. So let's get started, but first I'm starving....is there anyplace around here to get a good breakfast."
I looked at her and said, I make the best breakfast in town."
I woke up and immediately realized that my living room, which is my studio, needs a serious reorganization....and then the dream just folded away like most dreams do, but this time I decided to capture it.
Perhaps capturing it will allow it to live and flourish in the physical reality. God only knows I can't seem to do it on my own.
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