So much with so little for so long

I've danced in and out of one or two hearts
I've sang a few chords but not for the charts
I've been able to stay quiet clam and alone
keeping a bubble around my end zone

people don't bother me unless I get up and mossey on out
and then I have daughter that can always hear me shout
even when i whisper she thinks I'm screaming and yelling
and what I'm just doing is jelling and jelling

jelling just means that i'm twisting and turning inside
it's kinda like blue but it's really just another shade to hide
there's so much to explain about how we try to reach our goals
but it just comes down to how we protect our souls

of course there's a chance that you don't believe in yours
but that doesn't eliminate the fact that it's true
working the inside room and doing the mental chores
just sharpens the edges of the real you you you

what you really are
is not made of atoms, protons, quarks or neutrinos
it's not just happies
or stupid little meanos
it's not the bills you owe
or the food you eat
it's not the mountains you climb
or the way you greet

of course all the physical realities
that determine your credit score
are really important
unless
you
want
more

most of the problems that come about from having no money
can be fixed
with
money
and to quote Val Kilmer
at the end of Tombstone

"isn't that funny"

most of the problems that come about from damaging
the soul
can be fixed
with one thing
and one thing only

LOVE

I don't make up these rules
I don't even know if they are true
I just have to wonder
if you know the real
you


PART ONE.....to be continued

Strokes can improve but they will never be finished

Malcom Young of AC/DC had a stroke last year and apparently can't play like he's used to.  The way I figure it he could sit in a chair and let Angus continue to do what Angus does.

Since 1973 there has never been anything like AC/DC.  Their music plays at every professional football game and yet they;ve never been invited to do the Super Bowl halftime show.

AC/DC has probably been the most influential rock and roll band in history.

They stand alone and it's time to get up and uncork some moves.

I'm still dancing and I had a stroke two yrears ago.  Don't count the boys out.  But if it's true and we can't ever see them in concert again....all I've got to do is close my eyes and remember the five times I did see them.

Greatest Rock and Roll show of ALL TIME

 

 

 

 

 

I'M A BIG PIECE

OF

SWEAT

but

I'm \

smiling and laughing

and going to play them all again.

 

Dance MF dance!

One thing for sure

I gave a quick art demonstration at dinner party in Malibu on Friday night and then went to a gallery Saturday night and was able to talk about my work to various people.  The one conclusion I came away with after both evenings was that the people who do read MIND JAZZ most definetly know about the CERN project.  Of the 25 people who I talked with over both nights, 90% of them had never heard of CERN.

I was amazed.  And I'm guessing that of the 22 people who had never heard of CERN....99.9% of them are college graduates. 

I realize that people are focused on their own trials and tribulations and that their energies are directed toward making a living and taking care of thier families but it doesn't take very much time to expand one's horizons.

I've been writing about CERN since 2006 and now I don't feel so bad about people not knowing about my art work, my scripts and my blog....because if they don't know about the ultimate scientific search for missing particles and events that created the Universe, and has cost $10 BILLION and taken 25 years to construct with 10,000 scientists from around the world........then me being overlooked is really no big deal.

I do like telling people things they don't know....and since I don't actually know 1 trillionth of the information available in the Universe it does make me wonder what the average person thinks about.

Maybe the sentence should read.........what the average person cares about.


NEO-ILLUMINATION #6

Personel reflection is created by some hidden agenda
     Truth is created by the intensity of that agenda
                      OFTEN TIMES the truth devours our
                                                                         happiness

HAPPINESS MIGHT BE BASED ON MUCH
TRUTH...........................ONE CAN IGNORE

I can't possibly fault people for wanting to be happy.....but golly gee whiz.....a pinch more awareness can't hurt.....can it?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CERN

Michael Timothy McAlevey

Cat's Wind

In some very small way I think I helped get Steven Georgiou, Cat Stevens and Yusuf Islam into the Rock of Roll Hall of Fame.  Since all three of those guys are one guy than that one guy should thank me and make my movie.

The Cat's Wind script was thought of in 1977 and written in 1992.

Now that he's been inducted into the RRHF.....it makes for the perfect voice over ending.  His acceptance speech also puts a very nice tone on the general chaos of Rock nd Roll.

I realize it's a stretch but let me have a little taste...ok?

I keep thinking back to what Sean said in 1992......"Dad, you should just go find him and let him read the script."

I need to sit down with Yusuf and talk about who should play the part of the most spiritually interesting Rock and Roll star of all time.

Master reminds me another superalitive...GREATEST

The 78th MASTERS golf event begins today but for some reason it triggered the thought of other strong descriptive titles given to things and people and without hesitation the first and foremost superlative word that came to mind was...GREATEST.

Things and people associated with superlatives

KING............Elvis
MASTERS...Golf
PRINCE........Prince
BOSS............Springsteen or 15 Italian guys from Jersey

and the one and only
GREATEST.......................Cassius Marcellus Clay Muhammad Ali

The youth of America (anyone under 30) has no idea what it was like to have a personality like CMCMA dominate the entertainment and sports world at the same time. 
He would later expand to dominate a political and religious world but first it was strictly all entertainment.  Every time he spoke it was an event.  Every time he prepared for a fight it was non-stop entertainment and then of course there were the actual fights.  But truthfully the fights, while always vastly exciting, were a side show for the man.

Saying the actual fights were side shows is hard for people to understand because three of his fights might be the greatest fights in history, but the man was the event. 

He stands alone in the history of sports when it comes to personality.

The modern popular form of fighting would never work with a personality like CMCMA because it gets too violent and the Marquis of Queensbury type boxing allows for a certain decorum to be included.  There is a limit to how aggressive one can get while boxing.  And that limit is what helped make Muhammad Ali the GREATEST of all time.

I'm going out on the shaky limb here but I'm pretty sure there's never been and probably never will be a person who could combine athletic ability with entertainment chops...and on top of everything else he was physically beautiful.

Now beautiful is a strong word when talking about a man but ELVIS was beautiful and Muhammad Ali had that same type of physical beauty.  The color of his skin was a shade of copper that just glowed.

When he first appeared in the 1960 Olympics you could immediately see that this human being was different.

I'm not going to get into the details of his life because it's all there with just a little research.....
When he first told us that he was the GREATEST OF ALL TIME.....it turns out he really wasn't just blowing smoke up his own ass......he was letting us know
the
truth......

Oh yeah....by the way.....enjoy the golf.  I would like to see Sergio Garcia win because he's probably the best player who hasn't won a major.

Michael Timothy McAlevey

Artwork

Artwork has been dominating my time and excuse the slight ignoring of Mind Jazz.

Listen to a little diddy...excuse the lip sync issues.  Back in the day is was the way.

and I'll get back shortly...

The introduction is pretty silly stuff.  Did Captain really dress like that when he went to the market?
Make sure you keep an eye on the dancers in this Leo Sayer video.....quite some moves.


Doonesbury is on another vacation.....hope he's ok.

Higgs and McAlevey

I've been writing about the CERN project since 2007 and last week I saw a film called Particle Fever that summarizes the entire project. For the last several years I have done a few pieces of artwork trying to "honor" the images coming from their "collisions" and the attempt to find the infamous Higgs Boson which is referred to as the "God Particle."

The images from the project have been limited but extremely spectacular which is understandable when you collide protons at the speed of light.
http://home.web.cern.ch/

One of the images of the Higgs Boson, which they claim to have discovered, really blew me away.

I showed this image to a few people and they thought it was one of my new paintings.
This image took 20 Billion dollars and 20 years to create with thousands of people working endless hours....not to mention having the speed of light involved and magnets the size of Detroit.

I decided to make my version and am showing you stage #3.  The picture below is only 20% finished and by all accounts should only take another 19 years to finish.  My image has something theirs doesn't.

IT GLOWS IN THE DARK!

Stage Three of HIGGS/McALEVEY

My dear friend from Northern California, Dr. Franis Joseph Conlan, better known as Butch, who purchased one of my first CERN images a few years ago, asked me to send him stages as my new piece progressed.  It was such a good idea that I thought I would use MIND JAZZ and let everybody watch the progression.

Using the word EVERYONE is truly a misnomer since my MIND JAZZ audience consists of ???????.  I do have some loyal readers but the numbers vary from day to day and lately I've been leaving posts on longer if I think they have some relevant importance to the daily event called.....LIFE.

As an artist I'm really starting to wonder if the word relevant has ANYTHING to do with my physical existence.  When one reaches a certain age, and continues creating art, and hasn't received the recognition that one thinks one deserves then one simply feels that all work being done is obviously for another time and place...other than the time and place that appears to be NOW.

When I show my work to gallery people, and yes the number of gallery people I show my work to is quite limited, I walk away with the feeling that I SUCK. When I show my work to people who aren't involved in the gallery world I hear things like...WOW and THAT'S REALLY COOL and THAT'S REALLY PRETTY and WHY AREN'T YOU IN A GALLERY?

FRUSTRATED is the word that just dominates my world.  And the more frustrated I get the more artwork I create and last night I was so frustrated I ate 6 Klondike Heath ice cream bars and smoked two cigarettes.  The only positive thing is that I didn't do the two things at the same time.

Having a deep interest in Quantum Mechanics and having no mathematical ability creates an anomaly that can only be rectified by what I do artistically.  I find mathematical equations to be extremely beautiful and yet I have no idea how to create one but I love how they look.

Butch told me last week that one of the most beautiful is called Euler's Identity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euler%27s_identity

A few years ago I created a painting called The Smartest painting I ever did or will do and in the middle I put nine of the greatest equations ever created.  Interpreting great was done by what I thought was important....and recognizable to the public.  I spent a few months, before I did the painting,  asking people what equations they knew and most people only knew....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mass%E2%80%93energy_equivalence

This is the painting I did.

By the way I did go back and add my GITDP (glow in the dark paint) to this image
which puts in to my TWO-IN-ONE series.

My TWO-IN-ONE conceptual series is created by having a second picture appear after turning off all the lights.

That concept, by the way, gets a very cold response when talking to a gallery person...so you can imagine how my glow in the dark shoes get received.
 
Pretty soon some recognized artist will introduce paintings that glow in the dark and those same gallery people, that are snickering at me, will gush with praise.

The frustration is leaking out isn't it?  More Klondike bars on the way!

The physical illuminating part of this latest endeavor is all tied to Neo-Illumination and just how it's tied together is BEEing formulated at this very moment.

Getting back to the equations......about five years ago I wanted to create a line of art called....

ARTEQUATIONS......beautiful background colors with just a single equation written in the middle.  I think it's been done with  Einstein's.......but a series of them I have not seen.  The nine equations I included in my painting are all beautiful equations both in style and what they mean.

When I finish my Higgs/McAlevey piece I will put the HIGGS BOSON equation on the back of the painting, but for all I know it could be the size of Chicago.

I don't usually use Mind Jazz to blow smoke up my own ass but something needs to change soon.  I'm really getting tired of being ahead of the curve or completely behind the eight ball.

Does anyone have Vincent Van Gogh's cell phone number?

Time to get back to my painting and work on stage 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and so on and so on.....

Michael Timothy McAlevey

Time for something tried and true

Imagine if the planet blew up and the only thing left floating in space was a capsule with  these three clips and a small note that said.....everybody on Earth was just like this guy.

Africa

Today in the LA TIMES an article appeared in a left hand column on the front page.  Headline
reads....PRESENCE OF U.S. IN AFRICA GROWING QUIETLY.

The opening paragraph....."Amid a surge of Islamic militancy in North Africa, a team of fewer than 50 U.S. special operations troops with a single helicopter arrived at a remote base in western Tunisia last month."

From Wikipedia
In late 1954, Gen. J. Lawton Collins was made ambassador to "Free Vietnam" (the term South Vietnam came into use in 1955), effectively elevating the country to sovereign status. Collins' instructions were to support the leader Ngo Dinh Diem in subverting communism, by helping him to build an army and wage a military campaign.^[172] In February 1955, Eisenhower dispatched the first American soldiers to Vietnam as military advisors to Diem's army. After Diem announced the formation of the Republic of Vietnam (RVN, commonly known as South Vietnam) in October, Eisenhower immediately recognized the new state and offered military, economic, and technical assistance.^[173]
In the years that followed, Eisenhower increased the number of US military advisors in South Vietnam to 900 men.^[174] This was due to North Vietnam's support of "uprisings" in the south and concern the nation would fall.^[170] In May 1957 Diem, then President of South Vietnam, made a state visit to the United States for ten days. President Eisenhower pledged his continued support, and a parade was held in Diem's honor in New York City. Although Diem was publicly praised, in private Secretary of State John Foster Dulles conceded that Diem had been selected because there were no better alternatives.<sup>[175]

IT ALWAYS STARTS SMALL...............................

AN ADVISOR HERE A SOLDIER THERE
A HELICOPTER IN THE AIR
THEN BEFORE ANYONE CAN SEE THE LIGHT
THE US IS IN ANOTHER MILITARY FIGHT

The difference this time is not to STOP THE SPREAD OF COMMUNISM but instead to stop the spread of radical Islamic rule.

Quick history lesson.......Christian missionaries have always worked Africa, but most of their success as been in the southern part.   In the last 40 years Islamic leaders have dedicated a tremendous amount of energy into making Northern Africa and possibly all of Africa, completely Islamic. The Sunni faction of the Islamic religion dominates the playing field.  Algeria is 99% Sunni Muslim, Libya is 97% Sunni Muslim, The Sudan is 70% Sunni Muslim, Egypt is 94% Sunni Muslim......

THE SHI'A CONTINGENT OF THE ISLAMIC FAITH IS NOT HAPPY WITH THOSE NUMBERS

THE MILITANCY APPEARS TO BE COMING FROM THAT POWER STRUGGLE AND NOW THE UNITED STATES HAS DECIDED TO SEND IN ADVISORS.

ADVISORS FOR WHO?  

I'm not really certain but since Shi'a rulers lead IRAN, I would imagine our troops are there to help Sunni's.  What's your guess?  They sure aren't there to help the Christians  because that boat sailed a long time ago.

 This battle for control has everything to do with ISLAMIC RELIGION and it's been extremely violent for awhile now and the fact that the US is finally responding means that the powers that be realize the truth.  ALL OF NORTHERN AFRICA COULD BE CONTROLLED BY RADICAL ISLAMIC FORCES WITHIN A FEW SHORT YEARS.

THE FEELING SEEMS TO BE......

THE UNITED STATES MUST DO WHATEVER NECESSARY TO HALT THE SPREAD OF RADICAL ISLAM IN THE AFRICA CONTINENT.

and to be perfect honest.......that feeling might be well placed.

RADICAL ISLAMIC LEADERS SEEM NOT TO HAVE ONE BIT OF TOLERANCE FOR OTHER BELIEF SYSTEMS.

AND THAT MIGHT BE THE MAIN DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CHRISTIANITY AND ISLAM

THERE ARE RADICAL GROUPS IN ANY ORGANIZATION BUT ISLAM WINS HANDS DOWN FOR HOW MANY RADICALS ARE CURRENTLY WORKING ON THIS PLANET.

CHRISTIANITY HAD SOME RADICAL MOVEMENTS IN THEIR PAST....BUT THE OPTIMUM WORD HERE IS PAST.

I THINK THE ACQUIRING OF MILLIONS OF AK-47'S CHANGED THE TYPE OF CONVERTING THAT IS BEING DONE IN AFRICA.....AND IF ONE CHOOSES TO LIVE BY THE SWORD....ONE CHOOSES TO DIE BY THE SWORD.

SO WHO ON THIS PLANET HAS THE BIGGEST AND BADDEST WEAPONS?

YOU GOT IT!

AND THUS WE START SMALL........with a few advisors and one helicopter and a few special ops forces.....

This is the way it works.....those few advisors get killed and then we send in back-up and wham mam thank you mam......50,000 US troops are battling to stop Radical Islam in Africa.

I'm fairly certain that's what we are doing in Afghanistan and obviously that was our goal in Iraq.

The real question is.........

IS IT WORKING?

After 9/11 I proposed that a COUNCIL OF FAITH  be established....and the reasons for radical behavior on the part of any religion be brought to the forefront and discussed....in the form of a worldwide tribunal televised weekly....with the ultimate declaration as the mission statement being......

Tolerance of opposing religious viewpoints MUST BE ADOPTED by all organized religions.

THIS SEEMS LIKE A MATTER FOR THE UNITED NATIONS IF THE UNITED NATIONS HAS ANY LEVERAGE LEFT.

I remember when Hilary coined the phrase..."it takes a village."

IN THIS CASE IT APPEARS THAT "IT WILL TAKE A
PLANET."

On one of my Neo-Illumination paintings done in 2002 I wrote the following.....

"Every religion claims ultimate truth and has anybody ever actually asked how that could be possible?  The real fear is that all this nonsensical behavior might really piss GOD off.....even though that's probably very unlikely.  Our true hope should be that GOD is love and that everything we do as humans on this planet is not actually being reviewed closely.  The soul is eternal and that element of creation is the true link with our CREATOR.</sup>
Human beings behave like a very young species and thank GOD for the soul experience."

 Neo-Illumination #24....received in 1996

      The Universe has a system of
             order and chaos
       The human experience is a
                    tangent
                        of
                  that system
                    that can
                       both
              establish order
                        and
                 create chaos

BELIEF SYSTEMS DIRECTLY LEAD TO
                           CHAOS

Acceptance with investigation and introspection
                         creates
                           more
                         ORDER

The mysteries of the Universe will always outnumber the known realities and chaos will forever exist.

OUR JOB SIMPLY MIGHT BE
                                                TO
                                               AVOID EXTINCTION


****************************************************************************
<sup>I've now come to realize that without tolerance and forgiveness
our divisions have very little chance of melting away into obilivon......where they actually belong. 

Michael Timothy McAlevey</sup>

From Sochi to Hollywood and weird choices

Now that a real competition is over (Olympics) we can turn our attention to the silly competition among people involved in the movie biz.

I was watching the last 30 minutes of Lincoln the other night and it occurred to me that Steven Spielberg's film  might be the most important film ever made.  Important being a film that should be required viewing by all high school freshman.

When I think about films that high school freshman should be required to view I really can't compile a very long list.....Lincoln, Sound of Music,???????

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IMPORTANT FOR THE HISTORY OF CINEMA....

IMPORTANT FOR THE EVOLUTIONARY PROCESS OF THE HUMAN RACE

And then it suddenly occurred to me that Lincoln didn't win Best Picture in 2012.  I thought and thought and thought and couldn't come up with an answer on what film could possibly have defeated one of the most important films of all time......IF NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT.........

I finally relented and went online and discovered that the 2012 Academy Award for Best Picture went to
ARGO

LINCOLN DID GET 12 NOMINATIONS and Daniel-Day Lewis did get his Oscar for his master portrayal of Abe....but for future generations I'm fairly certain that watching Lincoln as a freshman in high school will be much more important than watching the ARGO

ARGO is probably better appreciated in grad school.

There seems to be a buzz about 12 Years a Slave and certain people are predicting it will win.....but Lincoln was so much more important to the issue of slavery and it didn't win.  To be honest watching 12 Years a Slave was slightly less painful than being at the dentist.  Of course I'm a guy who can't possibly understand why Hannibal is a new TV series and shows like Joan of Arcadia get canceled.

WHAT PART OF SLAVERY AREN'T WE AWARE OF?  Is somebody going to make a new movie about slavery next year and just show us a 60 minute actual rape?

Exploitation VS Education

LINCOLN vs 12 Years a Slave

If 12YaS wins it will be because voters actually feel guilty over not making Lincoln their top choice in 2012.

I think Wolf of Wall Street could win because Dallas Buyers Club and 12YaSlave will offset each other.

The only sure thing is Cate Blanchett unless all the Woody Allen news has some strange affect on Academy members.

And Jared Leto is a lock for Best Supporting Actor

Keep in mind this is the movie industry and nothing is what it seems......

It's a lot like politics but unfortunately politics affects our daily lives and unless you actually work in the movie industry the Acadamy Awards is just a one night, well clothed, fantasy break in
the action known as life.

I'm still in shock that BLACKFISH wasn't nominated for best doc..

It might have been the most important film of 2013

And when it comes to subjective vs objective who really has the final say?

Maybe Steven McQueen will make 24 years an Orca next year and everything will be made ok.

I've got to go now and find a seat at the Red Carpet event so I can watch an actor walk and wave for 30 seconds.

Talk about silly people.........

By the way...next Olympics is 2016 in RIO.

Michael Timothy McAlevey

Four years since Vancouver

SOCHI, RUSSIA

I was thinking about catching a flight over for a few events and than I read that TSA is confiscating toothpaste, deodorant, after shave and cologne as you try to board planes in the United States with Sochi as your destination.  

I refuse to purchase Russian made toothpaste  so I'll just stay home and watch it on
TV and the computer.  If I was a smart phone guy I'd have another path to the action.....but I've never been accused of being a smart anything guy.

I find it so hard to believe that there are people who don't care about the Olympics.

Although there could always occur a "glitch" in the proceedings, it's important to point out that the Olympic event truly is the only time that most of the civilized portions of the human race get together for a celebration.   

I realize the other portions of the human race will try very hard to make sure the celebration is tarnished. And that's one difference, as those of us who grave Olympic competition watch, from previous watching experiences.....the threat that something horrible will happen sits just behind the visual reality taking place.

That fear could be slightly increased because the event is happening in RUSSIA.
I think back to four years ago in Vancouver and yes there was a slight thought that perhaps someone could do something destructive but deep down inside I knew I was watching an event in CANADA....and I never really stressed out or worried while watching an event.

Last night I was watching the new snowboard event called Slopestyle and twice I had visions of some sniper from GEORGIA blowing one of those air born lunatics right out of the sky.

I apologize for introducing that image into your awareness but.....IT'S RUSSIA.
And have you noticed how close it is to the GEORGIA border? Last time I checked Putin wasn't that pleased with the GEORGIANS......right?

I WAS TRAINED BY ROMAN CATHOLIC NUNS TO FEAR AND HATE THE SOVIET UNION DEMONS WHO DIDN'T BELIEVE IN GOD.....

They did a pretty good job and although I'm pretty much over the hate dealio I still have some inbedded memories from my childhood.

WE PRACTICED GETTING UNDER OUR DESKS ONCE A WEEK
BECAUSE THE RUSSIAN'S WERE GOING TO DROP ATOM BOMBS ON OUR LITTLE ASSES.

ONCE A WEEK.....EVERY WEEK FOR AT LEAST FIVE YEARS BETWEEN THE AGES OF 6 AND 11 HOODED STORM TROOPERS BLEW A WHISTLE AND WE JUMPED AND HID.  Being under a exposed tiny wooden chair/desk would really help during a nuclear attack, don't you think?

AND NOW AS AN ADULT I'M SUPPOSE TO FORGET THAT PRACTICE?

I think I should clear some room under my desk....it's a bit crowded under there with my computer and my art and boxes of Christmas cards envelopes that I keep so I'll remember addresses for next year and of course I must have 100 CD's just in case I want to play some music that I can hear on YouTube within 10 seconds.

Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't I start this dribble by addressing the Olympics?  How I ended up digressing to Nuclear warfare can only be blamed on RUSSIA....right?

What I love most about the Olympics is the individual time and effort put in to training for the opportunity to compete in the games.

MAKING THE OLYMPIC TEAM IS THE GREATEST REWARD FOR MOST OF THE ATHLETES....as it should be.

THREE IN EACH SPORT GET AN EXTRA REWARD AND ONE IN EACH EVENT GETS THE ULTIMATE REWARD  but the stories are in the quest to make the Olympic team.  Forget that it takes fours years to train and wait for the next opportunity......the training goes back to childhood.

A 25 year old in the Olympics for the first time has been working on that goal since the age of 4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14?????????  And then they get in to their chosen event and finish 4th by a breath or a judge's pencil or a bump in the snow or an odd crosswind coming from over the Caucasus mountain range.

Team games are more fun and a lot less nerve racking than individual events.

One of the things I like to do during the Olympics is post pictures of the hottest babes.

Call me shallow if need be but when I see a smokin hot lady who is also a smokin hot competitor I just stand up and say....YEAH!

The first Gold Meow goes to MADISON CHOCK from the United States....of course she is an Ice Dancer so one can't be surprised by her looks....but whatever she does....she does it looking really beautiful.

Because of the other Ice Dancing teams from the United States, Russia and Canada there is very little chance that Madison will be visible on the medal stand....but she can sit on my medal stand any day of the week.

Ok....that was a little inappropriate.....but you get my point.....right?

MY JOB DURING THE OLYMPICS IS TO AWARD AS MANY
GOLD MEOWS
AS
POSSIBLE.

Let the games begin!

Seamus Garrity......guest

2/3/14

 

Today at 2:13 AM

It's been 20 years.

Today I have my first parent-teacher conference, and I am sure they are going to rave about my amazing daughter. I have no doubt about it. They already do with regularity. She's fun and easy she is to get along with. She really brightens up the world, and has given me so much perspective on life.

20 years ago today, when I was 15 years old, my best friend died suddenly and in the strangest of ways. He went into cardiac arrest in his mom's arms. I think the paramedics revived him briefly but I don't think he ever regained consciousness. If I am not mistaken his last word was "mom." She told me this story through the most intense tears I had ever seen just days later. The extreme pain and confusion I felt personally at the time was greater than any I had ever felt before, but hers was worse than I could understand. When she said "I know you were his best friend," her voice was cracking even though she was already crying. This was the first time that that thought of he and I being best friends had occurred to me. It was a natural friendship and we really just always got along.

His death changed me permanently in ways that I used to think made me deeper. That's literally what I thought, that his death had deepened me as a person. For a long period of time after his death my thoughts were only about him. Not just everyday, but maybe every minute. I did things and saw people and went out but I was usually thinking about Sean, trying to fathom that he was gone forever, or trying to imagine where he was physically. These thoughts went on so ceaselessly that it seemed like part of me became planted in another dimension, and all my decision making and even my well being came from that other side. I could feel things before they happened and I knew I could get as out of control as I wanted and that somehow I would be protected. There was a special kind of magical feeling that I had in all of my thinking and all of my behavior. And this never really went away.

The thing that is striking to me on this day in particular, 2/3/14, is how long it has been. How far removed I am from being 15. Sean and I would get together when I cam home from boarding school and we would hang out a lot. We'd go to the mall and try to find girls. We'd hang out at my house with the group of friends that we had, and we would talk. We would generally talk about girls. He did not believe me that I had had sex. He was really interested in snowboarding, something I had the privilege of doing everyday in boarding school, and he was really interested in playing bass. My last memories of him were from Christmas break 1993. First I remember we would go on long bike rides, and one day I had All Apologies stuck in my head, just the guitar part, and I though that I had come up with it. I was singing it and singing it and kind of bragging, and he couldn't place where it was from. When we were on the bike path at the beach he finally said "last song of Nirvana." It was the last song on that album which was still new. Maybe that happened in the summer. One thing that did happen in the winter was we went to see Nirvana at the Forum. And I remember New Years Eve a few nights later. We were just walking around our neighborhood. I broke a friends window, he may have pushed me into it.

My very last memory of seeing him alive was the morning I left to go back to school. We had been drinking the night before. There were four of us there but only he and I were drinking. I remember he had taken a beer out of my fridge and started drinking it. He was fucking with me to see if I would get mad and worried about my family finding out. I didn't care. I had already begun my drinking career about a year prior. I don't really remember anything we talked about that night. I do kind of remember the sound of his voice. He had very cool inflections. He had very graceful hands. He was very funny. He could kick my ass, but for some reason I felt like he mostly let me lead in the hierarchy of our group. I don't know why. But that morning I left all four of us were sleeping in my room. I had to get up early to get on a plane. I gave everyone 5. He was on the top bunk and I gave him 5 last. It was like a handshake-high 5. And he said "later dude." He was amazing. I walked out of the room and as I shut the door I heard a voice inside my head say "and that was the last time I saw my friend alive."

I talked to him maybe a couple more times on the phone. The last time I remember talking to him was around the Northridge Earthquake. His apartment had been hit hard and he really tried to convey to me how intense it was. The night I found out he died, 20 years ago today, I heard the phone ring in my dorm. It was late at night. After lights out. The phone rang and rang. As soon as I heard it ringing I knew he was dead. I don't know why I knew that. I knew it was another friend of ours calling. I acted surprised when my dorm parent came in to get me. I acted surprised when my friend told me over the phone. I acted strange for a long time.

The thing that compelled me to write something about this is how different my life is today. How different it is from how I thought it would be. I'm thinking about how much more life I have had than him. Todays date seems futuristic in a lot of ways. I think about what he and I would think of my life today. I know that we couldn't really fathom it. I couldn't explain to us what it's like to look at my wife in her eyes and the sense of completeness that she can bring to me. I couldn't explain to us what it's like to hold my daughter and make her laugh and to hear her laugh. We wouldn't understand and I don't know how interested we would be in it. But one thing that I do understand better is how his parents felt when he was gone. I can only imagine it. It the most terrifying part of my day when that thought creeps in.

Soon after he died my mom and I were driving. It was a summer day, I think. Someone had given me a bunch of pictures of Sean and I was going through them in the car. One of the pictures was from the 5th grade talent show. He was lip singing a song. My mom asked "what song was he he singing?"

I said, "this one!" and I turned on the radio and it was playing. On the radio. It was Patience. That was awesome.

I wonder if we would have grown apart. The odds are. We definitely would have kept in touch, although I don't know who I would be today if he hadn't died. I am certain that he death greatly effected the trajectory of my life. The depth of my coolness. He became something so profound to me. He became my link to the other side. He became the guide that brought my consciousness to another dimension, and I have though about him every single day since the day he died, 7,300 days ago.

 

THIS WAS WRITTEN BY SEAMUS GARRITY and I'M STILL CRYING AS I FINISHING POSTING HIS PIECE......

 

Michael Timothy McAlevey

20 years ago today St. Pepper taught the band to........

And 2/3 comes around one more time......I didn't realize that Buddy Holly's plane creahed on this day but of course that was a very long time ago and while 20 years also sounds like a long time ago it really isn't when it comes to hearttime.

Hearttime has it's own reality and each and every person's hearttime is different.

We get a lifetime to figure our our heart
and then we just return to the start
it's not easy being
it's not hard seeing
and yet
it all appears translucent
like
a
billowy silk veil
just blowing in front of my timesail

I don't like this day
because it only exists as a memory
of one really sad event

and I'll feel better tomorrow
when the 3rd of February
has just simply come
and
went

It was 20 years ago today St.Pepper taught the band to play....

and maybe I'll just put on that album and let the
day
drift
away

In honor of you Sean...with a little help from your friends.....

Progressive with a hammer

SING ALONG

If I had a hammer.......had to be one of his last gigs.....

 

And then much much earlier

 

 

 I really can't think of another entertainer who could be classified as the

King of Progressive thoughts

and actions.

BONO

and

BRUCE

are the modern

day

versions

of

Pete Seeger

who

was one of a kind

and

more importantly

a

very kind

soul

HIS MUSIC WILL BE SANG AS LONG AS CAMPFIRES ARE LIT AND RALLIES ARE STAGED AND

INJUSTICE

EXISTS

 

TURN IT UP AND LET'S SING

and then one of my all time favorite songs

 

 

 Mr. Seeger has entered Non-Physical Reality

on

a

very high

level.

 

And remember one very important thing.....without Pete Seeger there would have been no

 

 

 

 I highly suggest to just take a couple of days and play some Pete Seeger, some early Peter, Paul and Mary and young Bob

and

SING

SING

SING

Bee the news

I've written five + "articles" over the last four years on the Colony Collapse Disorder.  I can't imagine anyone not being aware of this issue but then again everyday I am shocked by what people don't know, or better yet................don't care to know.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colony_collapse_disorder


The U.S. Department of Agriculture has announced that a virus called TOBACCO RINGSPOT is a pollen-borne pathogen that causes blight in soy crops and that TRSV is replicating through their Apis mellifers hosts and spreading to mites that travel from bee to bee.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apis_mellifera

Traces of the virus were detected in every part of the bee....except the eyes.
Every part except the eyes!?

This is the second virus associated with investigation into why  bees are disappearing.  The first one was called Israeli acute paralysis virus....IAPV.

So now we have TRSV and IAPV causing DEATH to BEES but the investigators say they haven't actually determined the cause.

http://science.time.com/2014/01/22/plant-virus-may-cause-colony-collapse-disorder-in-bees/

PESTICIDES
     FUNGICIDES
creating
              BEE GENOCIDE
and then
a new VIRUS
is arriving
and
who
BEE
surviving

The complexity of our Universe is so layered and so intertwined with mystery and awe that it boggles the mind when I actually see normalcy being created on a daily basis.

Happiness might be based on how much one can ignore

And once more I come back to the magic word.................LOVE

The Creator of the Universe included the ability to think within our physical reality
but the gift of thinking that we can love is an even bigger gift.  Love is an abstract word
to simply interpret a feeling we have.  That feeling can be affected in the blink of an eye.

The challenge is to grow and nurture that gift in the face of extended information.

It's obviously not my job to find the reason for CCD but I love it when someone else finds something that can be included in the SOLVING THIS PROBLEM category.

WE NEED THE BEE
AND THE BEE NEED
WE

JUST A SIMPLE PHONE CALL, TEXT  or E_MAIL TO YOUR CONGRESSPERSON INFORMING THEM THAT YOU WANT TO SEE MORE RESEARCH DONE REGARDING CCD.

The BEE'S immune systems will thank you every single day for the rest of your life

BEE LOVE
Bee Love Tee-Shirts and hats available at the gift shop on your way out.


Michael Timothy McAlevey

"Play the Brothers"

This is simply about singing along with.......outside of the required church stuff.

I probably sang All you have to do is Dream about 500 times when it was released in 1958.  I had just turned 12 and was beginning my first and last Little League season.  Of course later I would have a 16 year Little League experience but coaching and playing are world's apart.

Dream, dream, dream, dream
Dream, dream, dream, dream

I had my first girlfriend at the age of 12 and although she was an older woman of 15 I'm pretty sure she liked my voice.  I recall that she liked my Elvis imatations and never told me to shut up when I sang. I realized later that she only liked me becasue I had a horse, but when one is 12 and playing center field it's hard to recognize female deception.  Actually, I'm still fully capable of being fooled by a beautiful woman and still dreaming that it might happen.

When I want you in my arms
When I want all your charms
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Dream, dream, dream, dream

In July of 1958 King Creole was released.  It was playing with April Love.  In 1958 you got a cartoon or two and two features and I remember that my new babe and I were driven to the theater by my mom.  April Love played first and then King Creole.  At that point I was a big Elvis fan but after that movie he literally took over as "King."   It turns out that Elvis regarded King Creole as his favorite of the 31 films he made and I am in total agreement.  But I still had a girl and I still was dreamin.

When I feel blue in the night
And I need you to hold me tight
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Dream

In 1958 Gigi won the Academy Award for best picture.  I always thought mom named my sister Gigi because of the movie but since she was born in 1952 I have to assume that's not true......and it still amazes me how perceptive I can be.  DUH might have been invented for me.

 

I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine

anytime night or day

only trouble is, gee whiz

I'm dreamin my life away

 

Elvis was the King but right behind at court was Ricky Nelson and the Everly Brothers.  They had the hair and they had the sing-a-long-songs. Ricky was 18 and had simply been the most popular kid on TV since 1952.  Ricky Nelson from the age of 12 to 16 had the last laugh and the last word everytime he spoke on the Ozzie and Harriet Show.  In 1958 Ricky released his first single...Poor Little Fool.  Elvis had gone into the army in March so Ricky took over and once a week on TV we could watch him do a song and show that slow blink maneuver. 

 

I need you so that I could die

I love you so and that is why

Whenever I want you, all I have to do is

Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream

Dream

 

In 1958 The Dodgers played their first season in Los Angeles at the Memorial Coliseum and finished 7th place in the National League.....back when there were 8 teams.  I remember being able to listen to the young announcer on my portable radio in my backyard with a Louisville Slugger in my hand. The fact that in three months (God Willing) I will be able to still hear Vin Scully announce a Dodger game makes everything seem ok....and slighty bizzare at the same time.

 

KIND OF LIKE..................... LIFE.

 

I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine

Anytime night or day

Only trouble is, gee whiz

I'm dreamin my life away

 

I have so many fond memories of my 12 year old season and singing along with Elvis, Ricky and the Everly Brothers just stands out.  I'm fairly certain that my older chick dumped me sometime in the fall for my friend Howard Herrick because I recall him wanting to punch out my lights when I rode my horse up her driveway and Christmas lights were shinning. It was the end of two relationships....and it's so odd how that pattern continued into my adulthood.

 

I Rode my horse up her driveway could be a new porno title, don't you think?

 

 I need you so that I could die

I love you so and that is why

Whenever I want you, all I have to do is

Dream, dream, dream, dream

Dream, dream, dream, dream

Dream, dream, dream, dream

 

On February 3rd 1959 a plane crashed and the music died......but that's another entire history lesson that Don McClean expressed much better than I ever could.

 

I remember being home from school that day with the Chicken Pox.......and little did I realize that 35 years later the music really would die for me.

 

I accept the fact that February 3rd 1994 is the by far and away the absolute worst day of my life but one thing I am able to do is

dream

dream

dream

 

and remember

 

When Lily was two and three years old (1988-89) I would take her back to her mom's house in Topanga Canyon after a weekend. It was a 40 minute drive from Santa Monica. During the spring there was Sean and his baseball (and yes my baseball too, as coach) and his time with her at my house is such a special memory for me. He was 7 years older and a perfect older brother.

 

Everytime I would drive her home she would sit in her car seat and simply say in that little tiny precious girl's voice.....

 

"Play the brothers"  with a little brooklyn accent as only 2 and 1/2 year old can do.

 

I would find the Best of the Everly Brothers cassette and Lily would listen to me sing-a-long and she would slowly start to hum....put her thumb in her mouth........and fall fast asleep.

 

And all I have to do is

Dream

dream

dream.......

 

Michael Timothy McAlevey