The First Time

This morning I bought the New York Times for the first time in my life. The reason being; they have a front page story on.....are you ready..... COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER.

There's a slight twist to their story that wasn't mentioned previously in the two small paragraph blurb on page A17 of the LA TIMES.

There is speculation by people, researchers and "experts", that the Bees are leaving the colonies and flying off in search of pollen and nectar and simply not returning. "They" say that the Bees are "presumably" dying in the fields......from "exhaustion" or "disorientation".....and then "eventually falling victim to the cold."

Apparently this reasoning stems from the lack of Bee corpses.....which sounds like a new vitamin.....Have you had your Beecorpses (B13) today?

I'm really worried that CCD might be a labor issue. It's going to be extremely difficult to conduct negotiations with a striking Bee force. First problem is the Queen.....which just reminded me how goofy the Red Carpet show was before the Oscars, when the QUEEN dude has the final say on what makes a women look hot.....but talk about another topic for another time.

Let's BEE on point here.

What if this is simply a case of "we can't live in this bad gang area anymore" syndrome. Remember the Killer Bee's have arrived in North America and maybe the regular Bee's are just hitting the highway because the Killer Bee's are just assholes.

I really don't want to be making jokes about this issue but I'm trying to bring up possibilities on CCD and each one appears to have some humor involved.

THE END RESULT OF THIS ISSUE HAS NO HUMOR INVOLVED

NONE

ZIP

BLANKO

Just for your information the percentage of the following items are pollinated by BEES.

BLUEBERRIES.......90%
ALMONDS..............100%
APPLES..................90%
GRAPES..................1%

Obviously this list is just a short sampling of things we consume.

I wonder who does the main pollination of the grapes?

Methods of pollination, other than insects.....which seems like such an ugly word for a Bee.....include birds, wind and rainwater. And if Global Warming is a fact then rainwater becomes an issue and I find it hard to imagine birds hanging without rainwater.

The fact that Wind helps pollinate seems logical but also appears to be a hit and miss proposition. I wonder how much pollination gets prevented from those Wind Turbines which dominate the landscape as you drive into Palm Springs.....and which by the way, should be painted in various colors. Is white a wind attractor? Do they have to wash those blades...ever?

How amazing would it be to climb up there to wash the blades, and discover millions of Bees splattered against the surface.

We then discover that Bees have started their own X Games and one of the annual events is how many blades can a worker Bee...dodge?

In the New York Times article it states that the price of a bee colony is $135.00. In 2004 the price was $55.00

Maybe somebody should be investigating certain Beekeepers....like the ones who've spend time in prison.
Imagine if CCD was being caused by some BEEKEEPER asshole who is trying to create a monopoly.

A QUEEN bee cost $15.00 Three years ago she was $10.00

Maybe some overly dominate Queen bee Agent is trying to narrow the field.....and soon a QUEEN BEE will cost $490,000.00.

And there will only six of them working.

And Blueberries will be $200.00 a basket, Almonds $400.00 a bag, Apples $25.00 a piece and
wine will be really cheap because it will be needed to help us ignore the other problems.

You get the picture....and the fact that the New York Times gets the picture is a really good thing.....even thought that doesn't mean the problem will be solved....at least it's being addressed by an important arm of the media.......for The First Time.

Michael Timothy McAlevey