Instead of PREDICTING results I feel much more comfortable PROGNOSTICATING results. The difference is that prognostication is done from reading signs or noticing indications of things to come. Predictions are just flat out final opinions. If the signs change at anytime, then a prognostication can change.....nothing is set in stone.
Prognostications are predictions for the chicken hearted....or for those of us who like to look back and say.....I missed the highway sign and that's why I missed the exit.....or in this case, the prognostication.
On the last day of February 2007 it looks like the 2008 Presidential election will be between......
RUDY G......and......sorry it's too close to call....Barack O......and Hillary C.......are splitting the money, the black voters interest and the female voters interest.....which could result in John Edwards becoming the safety factor.
The beauty of Prognostication is that signs let you know all the silly places to visit.....and if I've learned one thing about human nature.....we see what we want to see and often times don't see anything else.
Does the human species dominate the term........myopic vision?
When it comes to political choices and issues.....myopic vision becomes a perfect 20.......please note that it is impossible for myopic vision to be 20/20.
I like to think that I notice most of the signs......I can't see all of the signs because some are so tiny that they are almost impossible to read.
Especially when it comes to political mumbo jumbo. The art of being a politician is truly an art unto itself. Any one who has been fortunate or unfortunate to meet one,for longer than a handshake, will attest to this special art.
A regular person doesn't normally occupy the desire to have political power.
It's a special breed.......and that is one explanation way only 50% of the population bothers to cast their votes....in a Presidential election.
LOCAL ELECTIONS ARE LUCKY IF THERE IS A 35% TURN OUT.
IT'S NOT THE ISSUES....IT'S THE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THE ISSUES.
THEY ARE JUST FREAKING DIFFERENT AND WHEN ANYONE THINKS OF POLITICIANS THEY WOULD DO QUITE WELL TO REFER TO QUOTES BY MARK TWAIN, WILL ROGERS AND ??????????
Who is the modern version of those voices?
The problem is.....one has to be extremely clever and witty and lovable and on point. And of course the word f..k can't be used.....so that eliminates almost every clever, witty, lovable and on point satirist living today.
Have I gone off point at this point? That is just one of the twists and turns involved in the world of prognostication.
Here's a few sports prognostications.....which really have no foundation, and just a few little signs....scattered here and there......
THE DODGERS WILL IMPROVE THEIR REGULAR SEASON RECORD OF 2006.
THE RIGHT FIELD PAVILION AT DODGER STADIUM WILL HAVE A LOT OF EMPTY SEATS....UNTIL THEY GET RID OF THE FOOD FEAST CONCEPT.
NORMAR AND MIA WILL NOT NAME THEIR TWINS MITT & KICKER
THE DETROIT TIGERS WILL LOVE GARY SHEFFIELD FOR ABOUT TWO WEEKS OR TWO MINUTES DEPENDING ON WHO YOU ASK
LAST YEARS AMERICAN LEAGUE MVP WILL STILL WONDER WHY NO ONE TALKS ABOUT HIM OR MENTIONS HIS NAME
JOE MAUER WILL BAT 600 THIS YEAR JUST BECAUSE HE'S PISSED HE WASN'T MVP
RANDY JOHNSON WILL PITCH UNTIL HE STARTS SHRINKING.....AROUND THE AGE OF 74
ROGER CLEMENS WILL JOIN A TEAM IN LATE AUGUST...FOR 26 MILLION DOLLARS
A. ROD AND DEREK WILL ANNOUNCE THAT THEY ARE GAY AND HAVE HAD A SMALL PLACE IN SOHO FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS
BILL CLINTON WILL BE ARRESTED FOR PUTTING OUT A CONTRACT ON DAVID GEFFEN
(kind of a sporting event)
A. ROD AND DEREK WILL BE VERY UPSET BY THE NEWS
75 PERCENT OF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC WILL WONDER WHO DAVID GEFFEN IS
25 PERCENT WILL WONDER WHO BILL CLINTON IS.....and that's a truth that really scares the s..t out of me.....
THE NEW YORK YANKEES WILL FINALLY WIN ANOTHER WORLD SERIES BECAUSE OF THE COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET NEWS FROM THEIR TWO MAIN PLAYERS
This is officially the most gay humor I've ever used in anything I've ever written.
WHY ARE YOU TAKING A MOMENT TO ANALYZE THAT STATEMENT?
STOP IT!
Tomorrow I'll make blond jokes and you won't think I'm turning blond....so knock it off.
Prognostications can really get things going....don't you think?
MICHAEL TIMOTHY MC ALEVEY
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