TEST

This test is courtesy of Christian Ellis author of The Enlightened Enterprize



United States GOP Presidency Candidate Competency Test

This evaluation indicates whether a Republican candidate, after completing the form, is
sane, competent, and thus eligible, to run for our nation’s highest office, the Presidency.

Test Questions

True / False
1. Evolution has not been proven at all; school textbooks must reflect this.
2. It is okay to lie to people as long as long as telling the truth was never your intent.
3. Reagan never comprised and never raised taxes. Never.
4. Women should not have any reproductive rights or control over the own bodies.
5. It is okay to kill bad people but not okay for good people to decide when to die.
6. Climate change is a hoax, a baseless theory from people who hate oil companies.
7. Man coexisted with dinosaurs such as velociraptors and pterodactyls.
8. Our Founding Fathers worked tirelessly to abolish slavery. Tirelessly.
9. Taxes are too high for wealthy people in this country: they are persecuted victims.
10. Anyone can be rich; all they have to do is work hard for a while, just a while.
11. Poor old people, minorities, and students should not vote because they are confused.
12. Gays getting married is immoral and will cause all real marriages to fail immediately.
13. The Civil War was about state’s rights and trade, not at all about slavery whatsoever.
14. All immigrants are dirty drug dealers, mules, prostitutes, or gang-bangers.
15. The US Constitution must be followed literally, except when it comes to religion.
16. Reducing taxes does not increase the country’s deficit; in fact we don’t need taxes.
17. All Middle-Eastern countries and their people are enemies and should be bombed.
18. Paul Revere founded the NRA on his way to warning us about the British.
19. Evangelical Christianity is the only faith; the other 5 billion people on Earth are wrong.
20. Automatic assault rifles with Teflon bullets are needed to protect us from tiny rodents.
Bonus: Even though small businesses are the key, the millionaires are the job creators.
Bonus: If you come together and pray to baby Jesus, the needed rains will come.
Bonus: If you don’t have a job, shame on you; it is your own damn fault.
Bonus: Murdering our youth in the military is okay if the number is less than Vietnam.
Bonus: The key to getting elected is to trick poor people into voting for rich people.

Answer Key: All correct answers are False, including the Bonus Questions.

Answer Evaluation and Eligibility

Assessment of scores and eligibility (along with suggested action) are as follows:

Unable to answer due to severe brain damage=Bush Republican—not eligible (imprison for treason).

0 correct=Bachmann, Palin, Limbaugh, Rove, and Cheney Republican—not eligible (just imprison period).
1-3 correct=Gingrich, Santorum, and Coulter Republican—not eligible (hospitalize for mental illness).
4-5 correct=Cain, McCain, Paul, and Trump Republican—not eligible (closely audit bankruptcies and taxes).
6-7 correct=Romney and Nixon Republican—not eligible (constantly fact-check all policy reversals).
8-10 correct=Huntsman and Reagan Republican—not eligible (check for spousal plastic surgery bills).
11-19 correct=Eisenhower and Ford Republican—possibly eligible (however, ensure meds are always taken).
20+ correct=Lincoln Republican, Founder of the Party—eligible!!!