Changing Levels

In 1994 my daughter Lily was 7 when her brother Sean passed away at the age of 15. Two weeks after the "event" she called me and said she hated the word "death." I responded with "yes it's a horrible thing that has happened." She said, "No not the thing....the words, death and dead.....Dad they just aren't the right words to explain what has happened to Sean."

I thought about it for a few seconds and said, "you are absolutely right...give me a little time to think about it and I'll see if I can find something that works better."

The next day as I was driving home from work it came to me in the form of poem....or a lyric...or an answer.

When I got home I called Lily and explained how Sean was not "dead" and the word "death"

did not have to be used. At the time she was living with her mom in a two story house so it was easy to explain........

"Lily, you live in a two story house and on the upstairs level you have your bedrooms and your bathroom and that's where you study and take your baths and sleep. The downstairs level is where the kitchen and the living room and the den are located and where busy things happen.

The upstairs level is quieter and calmer."

"That's exactly what has happened to Sean. He simply Changed levels. He is now on a level that is higher than where we are and that's why we can't see him but we can still feel him."

Lily simply said to me......"Ok Dad, and can I tell my friends that he changed levels?" "Of course you can." I said.

Within a few weeks they moved from that two story house to a single level dwelling behind the school in Malibu. I suspect that being around new friends made it easier for her to go forward because she didn't have to tell anybody anything unless she wanted to.

16 years later I thought I'd share that poem, or lyric or......answer.

changing

lev

els

driving home tonight

i look around and see

a lot of what is right

and a big old sun looking back at me

i wonder what has happened

to make

life

seem so strange

and of course

the only real difference

is the level

of his change

the level where we play and sleep

is one that we can know

the level where our memories keep

is somewhat down below

and then

there's where my sonfriend lives

beyond what we can see

it's brighter there and righter there

he just made there

before you and me

driving home tonight

i look around and see

a lot of what is right

and a big old sun looking back at me

i wondered what has happened

to make life seem so strange

and the only real difference

is the level of his change

there's a feeling now

that just......somehow

you might not believe this dream

and just because you can't accept

doesn't really mean a thing

we come knowing who we are

we leave just

the same way

and no matter what you think

there is always

another

day

this level is hard and tough

because we get left behind

and once you are left waiting

there is trouble in your mind

it's pain

it's hurt

it's a block of non-belief

it's rain

it's dirt

and a case of no relief

when you think that you've seen

all there is to know

the balance of your present level

can turn around and go

and then

the when

that you thought might be right

becomes the when

that only holds you in the night

driving home tonight

i look around and see

a lot of what is wrong and right

and a big old son looking back at me

i wonder what has happened

to make life seem so strange

and the only real difference

is the level of his change

Today the manager of our building Ed Mucha changed levels at the age of 86.

He was a gentle soul who has shared a long and wonderful relationship with his loving wife Camille.

Out thoughts and prayers are with Camille and hopefully she won't be changing levels for awhile

Thanks Ed for always keeping the grounds clean

.......and say hi to Sean if your levels ever crisscross.

I'm not for one second even remotely going to claim that I know how many levels there are.....

but I suspect there's a whole bunch.

Michael Timothy McAlevey