One day

The Democrats just admitted that they left a few things out of the Health bill and that they will just add them later.

The Republicans said that was ok and if there was anything they could do just ask.

President Obama said he was kidding about the extra troops in Afghanistan and that China was actually going to buy Pakistan and Afghanistan so we can just go home.

General McChrystal said he would take all the soldiers coming home and have them start building small manufacturing plants in America and then they could work at the plants and start competing with China for products to be sold at Wal-Mart.

Military personal would also start handling all telephone service jobs that had gone to India.

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Barack Obama immediately said that it was the best idea anyone ever had in the military.

The United States just announced that Geo-Thermal energy facilities would be constructed in every city in America. Small towns will get small facilities and rural farmers will get portable units.

The Department of Disease Control just discovered that Bees were dying because of lack of respect and every known brand of weed killer sold at Home Depot.

KFC admitted this morning that they have been using growth hormones on chickens for the last 25 years. They claim they can make a full grown chicken in four days and have it eaten with a week of being hatched.

Angelie Jole, Jessica Alba and Reese Witherspoon signed a deal this morning to make the first big budget lesbian film. Rumors are that it will cost 100 million and will be shot in 3D. The Director hasn't been chosen yet but they say every heterosexual actor in Hollywood is submitting their name and will take the job for $5000.....plus lunch.

The Dodger traded Vin Scully to the Phillies for Roy Halliday today.

The Lakers announced a few minutes ago that they were skipping the playoffs this year and will only play in the finals.

Budwiser claims that if you drink two six packs of beer every day you won't have prostrate problems. Gallo and Mondavi confirm that claim but insist that it must be accompanied by three bottles of wine.

IT'S A VERY BUSY DAY FOR PEOPLE WHO LOVE APRIL THE FIRST.