Defining moments and leaving the building

There are so many defining moments in someones life and when someones life is short than those defining moments become extremely LARGE.

That first time Sean looked at me in the hospital completely blew my mind. I had been raised around animals and their eyes didn't open for awhile after birth. I just assumed, as I clicked away, that it would be a few hours before he opened those baby blues. ( Blue eyes dominate in the Clan McAlevey)It doesn't show but immediately upon taking this picture I almost dropped the camera. I was stunned because not only were his eyes open but he appeared to be asking me..."what the hell are you doing?"

I shall never forget the moment for as long as I live.

I proceeded to take a bunch of pictures after regrouping my senses but this picture was the very first moment Sean checked out the new neighborhood.

The second picture was Sean's face when he saw his sister Lily for the first time. It was eight years later but his expression that I caught on film was also a moment that I will forever cherish. When eight years passes between children one can't always be sure what the response will be from the older sibling....actually when one things about it....one can never be sure of the response from an older sibling, no matter how much time has passed.

But that moment that Sean looked at Lily for the first time made me not only relaxed but it showed that the young man was an extremely loving individual...which I already knew but that I was now able to capture on film for all eternity.

The next picture is just Sean goofing around one day when I asked to shoot his picture...he was 15 and didn't really care about having his picture taken anymore....except at family dealio's and maybe with his friends....I think when a parent takes thousands of pictures of their children, somewhere down the road the picture thing gets old....unless of course your a woman and then it never gets old...but teenage boys have a tendency to tell camera clicking dad's to hit the highway....

The bottom picture might be one of the last pictures I took of Sean Maximilian McAlevey. When a young man appears one day from early teenage years and you suddenly realize that you now are dealing with another adult....it's hard on a father...

But it's also refreshing, knowing that you've done what you could and now he moves forward with his own decisions and his own choices. Of course you will be there for him but around the age of 15, especially when dealing with a competent person, it's time to step back and watch instead of control.

The unfolding years between 15 and 25 are extremely interesting years and so much of a person's life during that time has nothing to do with his or her parents. Of course there are many times that a parent will be needed but it really is the time that a human being becomes their own person.

The fact that I didn't get to see that unfolding is the greatest single tragedy of my life...and knowing how much Sean dug being physical Sean I imagine it might be upsetting to him also...

.....up to a point of course

because I have complete confidence in the non-physical Sean and he's probably adjusted quite nicely to the environmentt and maybe he's even re-entered the scene with a even more athletic physical presence.

After 14 years I just can't seem to celebrate the day the Sean left the building when there were so many days that were more important in his 15 year, 10 month visit.

So many moments that I remember every single day of my life...that day in 1994 is a day that I don't like thinking about but here it is one more time......

I'm sorry but February 3 is a f--ked up day in my life....and also in quite a few other people's life's.

I'd really like to celebrate April 25 2008 when Sean Maxilimilan McAlevey turns 30....

where ever he turns 30.

and of course February used to be such an important month of me....(note the date at the bottom of the notice along with the name of the Church.....one of life's bigger jokes)

For those of you who might not know...........February 11th is my birthday.

Michael Timothy McAlevey