Big Day for household pets

I just wanted to ease you into the real story by giving you a few morsels to observe before I got to the biggest freakin bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich you will ever see.

Reese.....and nothing more needs to be said.

The dog actually won a beauty contest for dogs which really scares me because this picture was taken just after he had his hair cut off. This is really a Collie on the Atkins diet, and I just don't understand why they do this sort of thing.

The Panda turns out to be the first man-made Panda. Which of course means that it was probably made in China and then shipped to San Diego and lived at the Wal-Mart in El Cajon.

The problem here is that the first man made Panda released into the wild....has died. Of course they are trying to find out who was using him for a dart board but none of the other Panda's are talking. There are some rumors that two Gorillas are being held for questioning but lawyers are worried that they will go ape shit if not released very soon. One woman did report seeing a crazy monkey running away from the scene yelling something about...."I thought it was a skunk with a thyroid problem....and I was just trying to save the world from permanent odor damage."

And now the real story.

The PIG that you have just seen........was killed by the boy with an air gun. He is 11 years old and is freakin name is Daniel Boone "the giant pig killer." Apparently he does this for a living and he gets special time-off from school so that the community where he lives....can sleep at night. This picture was taken in Bel-Air, California.

I don't make this stuff up.

well........maybe a little bit

The strangest part of the story is that the Panda, the dog and Reese were found inside the Pig when they started the process of making 5,000,000 slabs of Bacon. The dog was dead....The Panda was pissed and Reese was just happy to be working.

Those Actors........are they funny people or what?

Michael Timothy McAlevey