NEW YORK - Wall Street bounded higher Friday, hurtling the Dow Jones industrial average to a record close approaching 13,000 as investors celebrated a week of surprisingly strong earnings reports. The major indexes all had their third straight winning week, their longest such streak since October.
The Dow closed up 153.35, or 1.20 percent, at 12,961.98, after setting a new intraday high of 12,966.29. The blue chip index — now about 38 points shy of 13,000 — has hit 34 record closes since the beginning of October last year.
Google gave a boost to technology stocks after it reported late Thursday a 69 percent jump in first-quarter profit to exceed analyst expectations. The results helped reassure some investors who had grown cautious about tech growth, and sent Google up $10.83, or 2.3 percent, to $482.48
The three paragraphs above are part of a AP news story. The following paragraphs a part of an MTM news story.
NBC had it's first ratings win in well over five years by deciding to broadcast the last words and testament of the craziest person to ever attend college. The families of his victims have had NBC removed from their cable tier packages.
NBC ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT IT WAS CHANGING IT'S NAME TO FOXY TWO.
The face of the craziest person to ever attend college (whose name will never appear in my writing).....will replace the Peacock symbol.
Media pundits across the country actually said they understood. "The pressure on NBC, because of being fourth in the network ratings, was simply too much to bare," said someone somewhere. "Something drastic had to happen, and thank God that crazy freakin idiot wasn't a black man....or even weirder....a black woman. With all the fuzz over Imus NBC wouldn't have been able to make this type of bold move." NBC justified its behavior by reminding everybody that 38 million people paid to text message their votes on American Idol. Fox responded by saying something that sounded like........raspberries......or.....na na na na na na.
Google announced that it would buy NBC in a few weeks once their audience falls to.......zero.
The NBC spiral started a few years ago when Aaron Sorkin was removed from WEST WING.....nothing has been the same since. The latest programming fiasco is the handling of Aaron Sorkin's new show...STUDIO 60. Some big shot thought that it would be a good idea to replace it with an IRISH SOPRANO insane show with teenagers playing Tony Soprano.
THE IDEA OF REPLACING AN INTELLECTUAL VEHICLE (STUDIO 60) WITH A VIOLENT EXPOSE (THE BLACK DONNELLYS)IS ALL PART OF THE NEW NBC PROGRAMMING DIRECTION.....THE DIRECTION THAT WILL ULTIMATELY LEAD TO ZERO VIEWERS AND THE NEW OWNERSHIP BY GOOGLE.
Someones going to discover that last weekend the craziest person to ever attend college sat through five repeated showings of Grindhouse....and actually thought he was still in the freakin movie.
I saw Grindhouse yesterday and I just want to thank Rodriquez and Tarintino for the wonderful images that are streaming through my mind.
ALL OF THIS NEWS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT TODAY IS 4:20 Who's smoking what where....GOD ONLY KNOWS.
AND THE FACT THAT IT'S ADOLPH HITLER'S BIRTHDAY MAKES IT ALL A BETTER REASON TO SMOKE A LITTLE GANJA.
The strangest thing about 4:20 is that I had never heard of it....and rumor has it that it started at San Rafael High school in 1971.....the year I moved to Marin County.
A day to celebrate the smoking of pot.....wow.....like someone needed a special reason.
LIGHT IT UP!
THIS REALLY HAS BEEN A CRAZY WEEK AND SMOKING A LITTLE POT MIGHT NOT BE SUCH A BAD IDEA.
I CAN TELL YOU ONE THING......THE CRAZIEST PERSON EVER TO ATTEND COLLEGE....DID NOT SMOKE POT.
THERE SHOULD BE A MEDICAL MARIJUANA FACILITY RIGHT NEXT TO EVERY GUN STORE IN AMERICA.
BIG SIGN ON THE OUTSIDE
BEFORE YOU BUY THAT GUN WHY DON'T YOU TRY A LITTLE PURPLE KUSH?
THE FIRST ONE IS FREE
and you might not need a gun after trying our product.
"SMOKE THIS INSTEAD" could be the new slogan across the country.
Of course there is a certain type of individual that uses medical marijuana and then goes next store to the gun shop and spends four hours at the shooting range.
THAT TYPE OF INDIVIDUAL IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PROBLEM....AND PROBABLY NO ONE WE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT GOING CRAZY ON A CAMPUS. THAT TYPE OF PERSON THINKS A CAMPUS IS A PLACE TO GO CAMPING WITH A BUNCH OF US.
THIS REALLY HAS BEEN A CRAZY WEEK AND IT'S SO NICE TO SEE THE STOCK MARKET NOT BE AFFECTED BY THE INSANITY.
Somehow Paul Wolfowitz has figured out how to manipulate the market so that it completely overshadows anything he might have done wrong.
The man can walk on freakin water......unfortunately the water is polluted with the blood of American soldiers.
The best news about GRINDHOUSE is that in two weeks it grossed $19.8 million dollars. By comparison....when Pirates Of the Caribbean 3 opens in May...it will do $19.8 million dollars in the first 10 minutes.
Talk about a successful franchise.
Johnny Depp and Toby McGuire should switch roles and Johnny could be Spidey 4 and Toby could be Jack 2.
LIKE I SAID.......IT'S BEEN A CRAZY WEEK...MAINLY THANKS TO THE CRAZIEST PERSON WHO HAS EVER ATTENDED COLLEGE....AND THE DECISION MAKING BRAIN SURGEONS WORKING AT NBC....AND OF COURSE THROW IN SOME GRINDHOUSE EXPLOITATION CRAP AND GOOGLE MAKING ONE BILLION DOLLARS IN THE FIRST QUARTER AND 4:20 BEING A POT HOLIDAY AND THE DOW ALMOST HITTING 13,000 AS A RESULT OF ALL THE FREAKIN UPBEAT NEWS....what a week.
MICHAEL TIMOTHY MC ALEVEY
P.S. The picture of Lily and Laura is just my way of trying to offset a very crazy week.....and the picture of Reese is just another picture of Reese. This is a close as I get to stalking a celebrity.
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