Where's my glove?

Monday morning, the day after the Super Bowl, and glances are being directed toward the baseball gloves and questions are starting to be asked.

Questions like....do I need a new pair of baseball shoes this season....should I get tickets to spring training this year.....is Global Warming really bad if it creates longer baseball seasons.....does Prince really sign his name like that symbol that was his stage....Tony Dungy really doesn't cuss.....is Peyton Manning going to be in 50% of all commercials made in the next year......will we hit Iran next or just leave that to the Israeli Division.....should I buy new batting gloves before I go to the batting cages......does Barry Bonds really think he will skate through the steroid issue or does he even give a flying f..k.......Does Kerry Wood still play baseball.....does anyone know the name of last year's American League MVP without looking it up.....Does Ron Fairly really have a 12 year old baseball fan in Israel......is Doonesbury the modern Kreskin....is David Copperfield really still alive or just performing a trick.....does Seamus have any idea how many french fries are laying around different parts of the house.....can I still hit the curve ball.....can I still hit the fastball.....will my curve ball work this year....have I lost any speed on my fastball....is Icahro in his own league.....Tony Dungy really doesn't cuss.....is PRO ME the coolest album debut that nobody has ever heard......does 13 years sometimes feel like 13 minutes.....is it possible for our team to make the World Series this year.....???????????????????

Now there are a few questions listed above that are only being asked by 800 male members of the human race, living in the United States of America. And without question many of us regard those 800 men as the luckiest dudes on the planet. Being able to play Major League Baseball and receive a salary starting at $350,000.00 a year.....and starting means nothing because the average salary is over $2 million...but please keep one important thing in mind.....the money really isn't the reason they play....no amount of money can help somebody hit a curve ball or go to the hole at shortstop or track down a deep fly in the gap. The money in baseball is simply a bonus being granted to the luckiest f..king guys on the planet. Winning a lottery can be considered a lucky moment....but it's only a moment.

Playing Major League baseball is a JOB.

Think about that for a few minutes.....A JOB. There are 800 men this morning who are looking at their wives and kids and thinking...."man, I've got to go to work....IN A MONTH.....and then work until October....IF I'M LUCKY....what a bummer."

PLAYING MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL IS A JOB.

Now I realize that among the 800 men there will be at least 50 that will be new to their jobs...which means there will be 50 who will lose their jobs and those 50 will be really bummed out, unless of course they've already been working for an extended period of time and it's just time to be put out to pasture....but even those OLD guys in their late 30's will still be suffering PPT (post playing trauma.)...it's not easy losing your job when your job is playing major league baseball.........but sometimes reality does have a way of jumping up and biting one in the ass....and the fact that someone can no longer play major league baseball causes a ripple affect in Dufar and the warlords start acting like bigger idiots then they already are.....which brings me to a real question.

What do think is the percentage of major league baseball players who actually have heard of Dufar?

I just said they were the luckiest guys on the planet....not the best or the brightest....just the luckiest.

I keep thinking about this morning and what those 800 guys are saying to their families......"Now if you have anything you want done around the house.....hurry up and let me know, because I've got to go to WORK in a month, and I'll be gone until September....unless I'm really lucky and then I won't be home until the end of October."

The families of those 800 guys might not be the luckiest families in the world but with proper counseling and good money management they should be able to weather the storm.

Everyone has to make sacrifices......

Everyone except those freakin 800 luckiest guys on the planet. And after everything is said and done, the only scarifices they make are done by the pitchers and they screw it up more times than not....but it's not really what they do, so nobody really gets upset. Pitchers are beyond the scope of lucky.....Pitchers are reincarnated souls of people who have suffered greatly in previous lifetimes.....there is no explanation other than karmic balance to explain the life of a Major League Pitcher. And seriously if you want to have a brain aneurysm just try to contemplate the reality of Roger Clemen's job.....just think about what he does, when he does it and how much he gets paid to do it.....and POP there goes a vein just above the left ear.

Roger Clemens this morning to his family......."I'm just not sure if I want to go to work in June or July this year.....maybe I'll just wait until August....but if do that, I'll probably only get $15 million instead of $23 million." And then his darling wife pops in with...."Don't expect me to cut back on anything....I refuse to change my style of living just because you don't want to go to work."

Like I said before.....we all have to make some sacrifices along the way....and when we do make sacrifices....the least we can do is get the freakin bunt down. I don't think it's asking to much....after all it's part of your job.

The juxtaposition of using we and your when talking about Major League baseball is exactly why 290 million people attend Major League baseball games every year. We know how lucky those bastards are and we support anyone who has a chance to be that lucky.

We, as American citizens, support luck and we encourage that trait so that it just might spread it's elusive aura some where around our personal environments.

Where's my glove....honey? I've got to go to work.

Michael Timothy McAlevey