Ashamed....and seriously

The pictures above show the before and after of someone taking steroids.

NOW WHICH LOOK IS BEFORE AND WHICH LOOK IS AFTER?

That is the question that must be asked and how one answers will determine what exactly is wrong with the how the United States deals with drug problems in this country.

There are athletes out there right now who think using steroids and human growth hormones will make them into characters like the two bottom pictures. While a very large group of non-athletes think that using those drugs will make them look like the top pictured guys at the age of 35....after they have stopped using.

Of course Barry Bonds didn't start using until he was 35 so he deserves his own category.

EXTRA BALLSY

I mean really...I would think steroids and human growth hormones would be a young man's game and messing around after 35 might make your feet grow too big....or something weird like that.

Barry Bonds has always been extra ballsy as far as I can tell and he really does belong in his own league.....I can't think of another athlete who personifies arrogance more than Barry Bonds. I realize that around his family he is probably the greatest guy alive.....but over the years he addresses anybody outside of his inner circle as a total dickhead.....but that's Barry and nobody is being fooled by his personality. Most people in the media regard him as an asshole and that's because for the last 22 years...he's been an asshole.

But I didn't start this column by wanting to rip Barry Bonds because actually I like the guy.

I think most media people are redundant and don't know the details of any sport they cover so generally their questions are trivial and stupid. And when someone like Barry tells them to go f--k themselves....it's damn refreshing.

I started this column with the intention of discussing the United State's stance on drug use.

ANYBODY WHO USES A DRUG ON THEMSELVES is doing it at their own risk.

Those two guys shown in the first picture above are positive that anybody who uses any type of drug should go to jail.

They both probably use ADVIL and they both probably drink ALCOHOL on a regular basis.

They look like guys who drink a lot but I seriously don't know.

But they are guys, who if they drink a lot, do not regard ALCOHOL as a drug, because ALCOHOL is legal.

DRUGS are things that the United States has determined are illegal substances...

such as Marijuana and Human Growth Hormones.

Wait a minute....are Human Growth Hormones illegal?

And what exactly are HUMAN GROWTH HORMONES?

I know what marijuana is even though I can't seem to enjoy it anymore because I don't like altering my consciousness....but that's just something that has popped up in the last five OR ten years... though some people I know will say I probably smoked too much pot in my life...others who know me well will attest to the fact that I've always used it in moderation and I've adhered to the one hit rule from the beginning of my pot experience which started at the age of 21.

I basically don't drink alcohol because I can't afford Opus One.....and that's about the only alcohol I've tasted in the last 20 years that I think taste great. Of course there was a Lafite Rothschild 67 that I will always remember......but that's not even considered alcohol.

I think it's actually melted gold or liquid diamonds.

The point I'm trying to make is when someone puts a drug in their body and didn't rob a liquor store or a bank or a convenience store or a neighbor to get the money to buy the drug................................then it's their body and their gamble.

Nobody should be able to regulate personal drug use.

If you own a company and you don't want your employees taking drugs then make sure they don't take any type of drug....not just the one's you deem bad.

No drugs....means No drugs.

BEER IS A DRUG and if beer was removed from the sports scene in America.....there would be no more sports scene in America.

But Bud Selig has a job because of BEER SPONSORSHIP in Major League Baseball and George Mitchell probably receives huge money from ALCOHOL related lobbies.

IT'S A CHOICE THAT ONE MAKES FOR THEMSELVES

IF YOU DON'T WANT SOMEONE TO USE DRUGS AT YOUR COMPANY....IE...MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM ONE THROUGH 32....DON'T LET THEM USE ANY DRUG.....LEGAL OR ILLEGAL.

CLEAN PLAYING OR NO PLAYING.

NEW RULE.

or how about this rule.....every time you get caught using a drug in Major League Baseball you will lose one fifth of your salary.

So do whatever you want but face the possibility of having no money at the end of a season.

THE MONEY COULD GO DIRECTLY TO CHARITIES

Don't suspend someone....just make them pay.

IF THEY PLAY AND ARE FOUND TO HAVE HUMAN GROWTH HORMONES

MAKE THEM PAY

IF THEY PLAY AND ARE FOUND TO HAVE ALCOHOL IN THEIR SYSTEM

MAKE THEN PAY

IF THEY PLAY AND THEY ARE FOUND TO HAVE MUSHROOMS IN THEIR SYSTEM

MAKE THEY PAY (but you better wait until they've stopped laughing)

Seriously

People that are in prison for using drugs should be released immediately.

If they committed a crime to get the drugs that's another type of sentence...and they have to stay and pay the piper.

The people who use Human Growth Hormones in major league baseball and ANY professional sport... should be fined on a regular basis and the money should go to hungry kids charities.

People who think National Basketball players don't smoke pot should be fined and the money should go to hungry kids charities

People who have won Olympic events while on Human Growth Hormones need to give back their medals if the other people who they beat weren't using. Keep in mind, many losers were probably also participating in the HGH experience.

People who are sitting around with a beer in their hand and a cigarette in their mouth and criticizing steroid use should be fined and the money should go to hungry kids charities.

HYPOCRISY

IS

RAMPANT

AND IT NEEDS TO BE FINED

AND

THE

MONEY

COULD

GO

TO

HUNGRY

KIDS

CHARITIES

Michael Timothy McAlevey

I feel bad about ignoring him

Thanksgiving this year fell on November 22nd and I wrote an article that day called "Mixed Emotions."

I made a quick reference to JFK and Dallas but I had other things on my mind that day.....

and its been bothering me and I feel bad about ignoring him.

I also have a slight problem celebrating the day someone leaves this dimension but the largeness of that moment makes it hard not to take a pause and bow to his memory....and to remind people what type of world we might have today had hate not triumphed on that dark day in Dallas.

So many young people that I talk to just have no idea what type of charisma he brought to the highest office in the land. Of course they see pictures and read stories but it's always the womanizing that seems to dominate when talking to anyone under the age of 40 about the life of John Fitzgerald Kennedy....and what he meant to a country that was moving towards modern day realities.

One of the things that has always bothered me is that Lyndon Johnson is regarded as the President who brought Civil Rights to the African American.

IF JOHN F. KENNEDY HAD NOT SAID THE FOLLOWING WORDS IN JUNE OF 1963, CIVIL RIGHTS WOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN IN THE OVAL OFFICE AS AN AGENDA DURING JOHNSON'S SHORT TERM.

LYNDON B. JOHNSON was fulfilling and honoring something that JFK had started with these words. And although he had writers one of the basic truths about him was that he could write like a son of a bitch....and of course he might be one of the great orators of all time.

These words were said on a nationally televised address in JUNE OF 1963.

"We are confronted primarily with a moral issue. It is as old as the Scriptures and is a s clear as the American Constitution. The heart of the question is whether all Americans are to be afforded equal rights and equal opportunities...One hundred years of delay have passed since President Lincoln freed the slaves, yet their heirs, their grandsons, are not fully free. They are not yet freed from the bonds of injustice. They are not yet freed from social and economic oppression. And this nation, for all of its hopes and all of its boasts, will not be fully free until all its citizens are free...A great change is at hand, and out task, our obligation, is to make that revolution, that change, peaceful and constructive for all."

He followed this speech by asking Congress to enact a bill that removed race from consideration "in American life or law." ( Robert Dalleck )

In 1964 Johnson signed the civil rights bill into law....but I promise you that JFK if had not said those words in 1963, Johnson would only be known for increasing the troop size in Southeast Asia.

But what I want to try to emphasis regarding the man can best be told with the pictures above and the speech's he made.

Because the guy was a hound dog should never enter into a discussion about the political atmosphere he created while being in the White House.

IT WAS AN ATMOSPHERE OF FRESHNESS AND DAMN GOOD LOOKING PEOPLE.

The fact that we only got two State of the Union addresses and one Inauguration speech from him is one of the really sad things in American political history.

For years I've wanted to sit down and write the missing speeches of JFK and RFK...

the missing speeches being the ones we were denied by HATE, INSANITY, JEALOUSY AND by people who just didn't like good looking people who could really think and talk....but I just don't have the talent or the positive outlook that allows for such a project.

Anyone who was over the age of 13 in 1963 knows what I'm talking about when I say the charisma factor was completely different than anything we might ever see in the White House.

We got a glimpse of something unique and it was taken away by elements that still piss me off.

Anyone born after 1960 has no idea what I'm talking about unless of course they have a bit of historian in them and have looked deeply into the 60's.

There is a certain age group that looks at the loss of John Jr. as being a real tragedy.

THEY HAVE NO IDEA.

I was 17 years old and a freshmen in college on November 1963 and was numbed by the experience in Dallas. Of course by the time 1968 was over I was just downright pissed off, along with about 50 million other people my age.

I'm still rather pissed off about that time period and the voices that were stilled.

But I remember the hope and I remember the elegance that graced the White House and I know I will never see anything like that again in my lifetime.

Thank you John for the short experience and thank you for letting me see what it meant to have real charisma in the highest office in the United States. And thank you for the speeches that to this day stand with some of the greatest speeches ever delivered in the political arena.

Michael Timothy McAlevey

OPRAH is the big dog

Barack Obama is bringing out the big dogs in Iowa and this week he's brought out the biggest dog of them all.

I think the term big dog refers to hunting but then again I've never used the expression before but for some reason it seems to apply here and it has nothing to do with negativity.

Bring out the big dogs seems to me to be a very aggressive and serious gesture.

Whatever or wherever the term originated I can safely say that Barack Obama is bringing out the big dog by traveling with Oprah Winfield.

Suddenly it feels like the Oprah Winfield campaign and I suppose that's not a bad thing for Barack.

IT COULD HAVE A BACKLASH EFFECT....but then again an endorsement from Oprah is probably the single biggest endorsement he could receive.

A TOUR WITH OPRAH IS ANOTHER ENTIRE BALLGAME.

IOWA has become the center of the universe now that Oprah has entered the scene. I saw a picture yesterday in the paper where 23,000 people (mostly women in the picture) had gathered in Des Moines for an OPRAH/BARACK tour event. She will probably have Led Zepplin play at their next event.

By the way...why is the Led Zepplin performace in London NOT being offered on Pay per view?

To offset the Oprah/Barack Tour..... Hillary countered with Chelsea.

In the meantime on the Republican side in NEW HAMPHSIRE, Mike Huckabee continues to rise and this week Mitt Romney made his first religious content speech. I read it and I'm not sure it was effective because when he talks I really can't figure out what he's really saying.

The only similarities between JFK and Mitt Romney are the good hair and Massachusetts.

He's got the political bs down pat and it will probably get him the nomination.

ROMNEY/HUCKABEE would be a formidable foe for the Democrats.

But of course the questions will arise about Huckabee being an ordained Baptist Minister....and combine that with the Morman dealio and they would be open for numerous unique questions.

If he really is a creationist then I would think we will finally have a forum on a very important issue.

Questions that could arise during the ultimate debate between the two final nominees...if those two are Huckabee and Obama.

"Governor Huckabee....DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE UNIVERSE WAS CREATED WITHIN THE LAST 10,000 YEARS?"

"Governor Romney...do you really think that the Book of Mormons contained passages that told men to have multiple wives?"

I can't wait to hear those answers.

And then there's Barack questions.

"Senator Obama....is Oprah going to be Secretary of State?"

I can't wait to hear that answer.

The Barack/Oprah Tour will be a tour that Republicans do not want to see happen on a national basis.

Of course Hillary still has Bill and he is Oprah with POLITICAL EXPERIENCE.

Bill Clinton could have a talk show and compete quite nicely with Oprah.

I would watch it.....but of course I've never watched an entire Oprah show so maybe I'm not in the targeted demographic.

ARE YOU?

Michael Timothy McAlevey

I was getting ready to accept and help

A few days ago I was getting ready to accept the Dodgers off season moves and start to explain why they can have the best team they've had in awhile....and then they went out and got Andrew Jones and now I don't have to stretch the truth....as much.

The fact that they acquired a center fielder who batted .222 last year isn't exactly a reason to start printing World Series tickets....but Andrew Jones won 10 straight Gold Gloves and unless something terrible has happened....there is now an arm in center field....and from what I've heard....a bit of an attitude.

I've decided to approach the 2008 Dodger season with.....
IF THEY HAVE CAREER YEARS
or
IF THEY HAVE CLOSE TO CAREER YEARS

LINE UP

FURCAL .290
PIERRE .320
JONES .270 (35 HR)
KENT .295 (27 HR)
LONEY .330
KEMP .325
MARTIN .300
GARCIAPARRA .315

The fact that a guy who batted .372 and .357 a few years ago.... will bat eight on the 2008 Dodgers says something about the potential of this line up. Of course I'm a huge Nomar fan and I think he still has some fire left in that body. He was regarded as one of the best shortstops in baseball just a few years ago and then an injury here and there.... and we are lucky to have a player of his caliber and as far as being a human being....he's the real deal. Luis Gonzales might be the nicest guy to ever play baseball, but Nomar isn't that far behind. I think they should sign Luis just for insurance.....as long as they can get him for $5 or $6 million. I loved listening to him and of course someone needs to help feed the triplets so why not Frank and Jamie?

Combine the everday LINE UP with Penny, Lowe and Billingsley and two of the better relief pitchers in baseball in Broxton and Sieto and the POTENTIAL IS HUGE.

I'm not even going to discuss the upside potential of some of the younger players....no need to add pressure to their lives.

After all the life of being a Major League baseball player is so so stressful.......
and that's a ha ha ha.

I haven't even mentioned the new manager....what's his name......Joey Torrinismo ???????

AND what if Jason Schmidt recovers and they sign that Japanese ACE?

THIS IS A TEAM TO BE RECKONED WITH IF THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE.

If it wasn't for one three week stretch in August this would be a team that everybody would be talking about....but alas that infamous stretch in August completely reduced them to a team that no bodies talking about.

I'M TALKING and it's pretty early but what the hell....there's no bowl games for a couple of weeks.....and being a Ram fan I don't have any interest in the 2007 Pro Football season even though the Green Bay story is pretty cool.

And of course Miami and New England have their stories but it's not grabbing me.

I'll probably watch some of the playoffs but maybe I'll go golfing instead.

When do the pitchers report to spring training?......

I'm itching.

And I have a feeling that the Dodgers aren't finished wheeling and dealing. I hope they don't go crazy....because I think what they have is good enough to win 95 games and 95 games in the West should be plenty.

Michael Timothy McAlevey

AUGUST RUSH RUSH

I can't tell you why anyone else goes to the movies. I can't make anyone else go to a movie that I recommend. I can only tell you that I go the movies to see if my emotions can be affected. If I laugh out loud more than two times I probably think the film is pretty funny. If I cry once in a film I think it's either a sad or uplifting film. If I leave the theater thinking, then I know there was a lesson to be learned....and of course I go to some films because there are certain faces that I like to see the size of a building....Reese and Jessica for example.

But the normal main reason I go to a film is to see if it can touch the various emotional brackets in my heart and mind.

There's a sequence at the end of August Rush where I have no control over the tears running down my cheeks....and that was the third time during the film that I had shed moisture.

Three times the uplifted emotional bracket in my mind was touched and unlocked. Three times in a movie that nobody I know seems to be talking about.

I'm afraid that people don't want to feel good when they go to the movies.

Box office for this film will not reach 50 million domestic and that's just a shame because this is the quintessential holiday movie that can be enjoyed by ANYBODY....OF ANY AGE

I'm going to go out on the edge a bit and say that AUGUST RUSH is one of my favorite musicals of all time....and most people will not regard it as a musical. It's not your standard musical because the delivery of the notes and chords and singing are done within the story line.

And that might be the best type of musical that one can create.

When an uplifted emotional bracket is touched and unlocked there is one aspect that must be involved. The human facial gestures from the actors can make or break a tear jerker. The casting agents for AUGUST RUSH struck gold with this cast.

Not only are there known commodities but some new introductions grace the screen that totally blew me away.

I'm not about to write a review because I want it to be a total surprise.....but you need to go see AUGUST RUSH and take someone you really like, really love or would really like to like, or really love to love. Or if there is someone you are mad at....take them.....and if that someone is just you by yourself....so be it.

AUGUST RUSH was an emotional rush and it's one of the few films that I will probably go see again and I don't see movies twice while in release....and a movie that I would own on DVD....and that my friend is the highest recommendation that can come from this humble movie goer.

Directed by Kirsten Sheriden
Story by Paul Castro and Nick Castle
Screenplay by Nick Castle and James Hart

GO
GO
GO
experience an August Rush Rush

Michael Timothy McAlevey

HOME without the teddy

That major international criminal Gillian Gibbons was freed from prison in the Sudan and returned home to England where she will obviously plot and plan her next devious crime.

Her first crime was low key compared to her next idea. Instead of naming a teddy bear, rumors are circulating that she plans on naming every taxi in London "Muhammad." She said something to the effect that since most of the taxi drivers in London were already named Muhammad, why not just marry the two ideas. The idea actually can work quite well in New York and Chicago and Los Angeles.

Actually the MUHAMMAD TAXI COMPANY is probably a great idea. I wonder if any corporations in Islamic countries have the name Muhammad in their logo. I wonder if corporations are allowed in Islamic countries. I bet there are very few corporations in Iran that operate without the permission of the Ayatollah.

I bet you didn't even know that the Ayatollah was still in charge. It's kinda like a Pope dealio....one dies and the another takes over....with a new last name but Ayatollah always precedes the surname. I think the new Ayatollah in Iran's surname is

TEDDY

Now that would be irony at it's highest level.

Since we are all able to sleep a bit better knowing that Gillian is home let's turn our attention to the United States and the upcoming election.

From deep left field in the Republican wasteland a candidate has emerged from that party who seems to be an acceptable compromise from the previous choices.

John McCain is finished
Rudy Giuliani will self destruct and maybe already has
Fred Thompson is just not happening
Mitt Romney makes people a little nervous for some reason
and
MIKE HUCKABEE has been able to rise above it all and create a real buzz in the Republican party.

How weird would it be to have 2 people elected President of the United States within the last 16 years to be from HOPE, ARKANSAS.

Seriously the odds of something like that happening have to be as high as 3 or 4 to 1......

ok...... how about 10 billion to one.

Mike Huckabee is following a similar path as the other Hope resident did when he started running for President.

I have seen ten pictures of Mike Huckabee in the last two weeks and each and every time he is playing a guitar. Bill Clinton in the beginning played a Saxophone.

I wonder if they played together in some band. I realize Mike is a bit younger than Bill but the town of Hope only has 13 people so there's a good possibility that Mike and Bill were jamming somewhere in the same vicinity.

The HOPE boys....Mike and Bill

This is an amazing story. It could turn out that there's one civics teacher in Hope that has all the right things to say when talking to young people as they make there way into the world.

I'll research the actual facts and figures of HOPE Arkansas and get back to you later.

The Iowa caucus is only 29 days away and things are heating up. Hillary is losing steam in the Demo race and Huckabee is gaining ground in the Repubican front.

Actually I think Hillary should divorce Bill and marry Mike and form the new AND IMPROVED POLITICAL PARTY


THE HILLARY HUCKABEE PARTY

now that would be some irony.

And maybe just enough irony to help repair a political process that seems to be basically turning off more people than it's turning on.

But then again that might just be my cynical side pouring forth in the midst of all this election hoopla.

I need to take a break from the political process and write a little tune....

EVERY TIME I WANT SOMEONE
TO TELL ME SOMETHING NEW
I JUST KEEP HOPING THAT
THAT SOMEONE COULD JUST BE YOU

IT'S NOT THAT I NEED YOU IN MY LIFE
NOR WANT YOU BY MY SIDE
IT'S JUST THAT I KNOW YOU KNOW
THAT AT LEAST I TRIED

Michael Timothy McAlevey

We are Carrolling to the Rose Bowl

My older brother asked yesterday why I cared so much about USC football when I didn't even go to school there.

There are so many different answers to that question.

I do know that if being a fan was limited to being part of a program then there would be nobody at any Dodger gamess or Angel game or on and on and on.....

The truth is I'm not quite sure how it started but it's been a long time since I first started rooting for the Trojans. I've told a story for years about how my Dad took us to a USC/UCLA game when I was around six years old.

(Which would have been 1952 when both teams were undefeated)

Both my Dad and my brother were for UCLA and it was raining. USC came back in the last few seconds and won the game and I was hooked.

I'm not really sure that actually happened because recently my Dad said he doesn't remember taking us to a college football game. But then again he is still rooting for UCLA so maybe he just didn't want to remember it.

A friendship was formed in high school that remains to this day....and his family was wacky nuts over the Trojans so that went well. And then in college I fell hard for a beautiful girl at USC and that went well for a while.

I don't think those of us who cheer for college teams, who did not attend the school, should have to apologize......

But I kinda understand that it might appear silly if carried to the next degree. I don't wear USC clothing and I don't have a Trojan sticker on my car and I'm not really sure I own anything that says USC.....

.....but I would put my Trojan Football loyalty level at the same plateau as anyone who attended the school and cheers for them 12 or 13 times a year.

I have never wavered in my loyalty.....ever......and during the UCLA victory streak over the Trojans which lasted for 8 years and finally ended in 1999, I was upbeat and optimistic and sure every year that it would not happen the next year and it kept happening.....year after year after year after year after year after year after year after year.

It was impossible to know a UCLA fan during that time period without feeling the smirks and giggles.

And in 1993 my son Sean and I went to the game at the Coliseum which USC lost and it became a significant game in our short time together. IT being the only college game that we physically
attended. The losing streak that kept going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on JUST DIDN'T SEEM SO HORRIBLE AT THE TIME.....compared to what had happened in Feb of 1994.

I'm sure I was watching the games but my heart and my soul were absorbed with the reality of life and death.

When Pete Carroll came to USC it seemed to bring a spark of life back into the Trojan family.....of which I am proudly one.

Listening to Mr. Carroll talk over the last several years has been one of the best parts of being a Trojan fan. I love good coaching and when someone can explain it well......it's worth the price of admission.

And explaining the losses is the real talent and he does it as well as anybody who has ever coached at the college level. Of course he's only had to do that only 14 times since 2001.

75 times he's spoken about a winning game.

It's been a extreme pleasure to watch Pete Carroll and if anybody from UCLA doesn't like him it's simply because he doesn't work at UCLA.

He might go down as the greatest college football coach of all time.......if he stays put and doesn't let the glamour of pro football entice him away. I think his personality was meant to help develop young college men...

It's been a great time to be a USC fan........and when I really think about it.....that great time has lasted since 1952.

Go Trojans
Thanks Pete

Michael Timothy McAlevey

OH MY ALLAH

The other day I noticed a blurb in the paper about a teacher in the Sudan who named a teddy bear Muhammad. She, a teacher from England, apparently got into some trouble because naming an inanimate object is against the Islamic religion. It's perfectly ok to give the name Muhammad to every third child born in the world....but name one stuffed animal and you are in deep trouble.

I didn't think much about it because they said officials were meeting to determine her fate and I just assumed that once the issue was addressed by officials that everything would sort itself out.

WRONG!

This morning I wake up and read that she has been sentenced to 15 days in jail and when released she will be deported.

Then I come into my office to write a short article about Teddy Bears and Allah and I see the following story on-line.

KHARTOUM, Sudan - Thousands of Sudanese, many armed with clubs and knives, rallied Friday in a central square and demanded the execution of a British teacher convicted of insulting Islam for allowing her students to name a teddy bear "Muhammad."

In response to the demonstration, teacher Gillian Gibbons was moved from the women's prison near Khartoum to a secret location for her safety, her lawyer said.
The protesters streamed out of mosques after Friday sermons, as pickup trucks with loudspeakers blared messages against Gibbons, who was sentenced Thursday to 15 days in prison and deportation. She avoided the more serious punishment of 40 lashes.
They massed in central Martyrs Square outside the presidential palace, where hundreds of riot police were deployed. They did not try to stop the rally, which lasted about an hour.

The fact that she is being deported might be the greatest single thing that has ever happened to her in her life. Now if she can just avoid the lynch mob for the next 15 days.

I think people in certain parts of the world have too much free time on their hands. Having the ability to deal with free time takes a certain type of talent....and it's a talent that might have not been learned in a country where thousands of people riot in the streets over a teddy bear being named Muhammad.

The f--ked up part of this story is that there will be some people who read this article and side with the protesters

and within that group of people there could actually be one or two wacko's who decided that I no longer deserve to live because of my smart mouth.

That's the part about the Islamic faith that really makes me think that perhaps there is no reasonable solution to their desire to convert the entire planet to Islam.

I realize that the Catholic Church once had this quest and yet it seems that reasonable solutions were reached and an attitude was adopted that stated...

"win a few....lose a few." (Which in the quest for religious converts should be the only logo allowed)

Islam needs to adopt that type of attitude....or....there is going to be a very large confrontation between people who don't care what you name anything and people who seem to think differently about what can be named.

Simple sides can be drawn for that confrontation.

Do you give a flying f..k what someone names their teddy bear?

or

Do you think that executing someone is the proper behavior for naming a teddy bear "Muhammad?"

THAT'S THE QUESTION

SO LET'S DIVIDE THE WORLD UP WITH THOSE TWO SIDES AND THEN SETTLE THIS BULLS--T ONCE AND FOR ALL.

Oh...it just occurred to me that maybe W and the Dick are already doing that...

The world stage is really heating up and to think that a Teddy Bear named Muhammad could be the straw that broke the camel's back.......wow.

And I was always sure it would be the issue of oil or water that pushed the final botton.....but a Teddy Bear???????

Don't those people over there know that there's a very important football game tomorrow?

They must not have cable.

There sure as hell don't have any commen sense....

so Gillian Gibbons needs to count her blessings and get the hell out of Dodge. I will say a few prayers that she survives the next 15 days and the car ride to the airport.

I wonder if they will let her take "Muhammad" home to England?

Praise be to Allah......

and I sure hope they don't find out about my Teddy Bear named....

GODISLOVE but don't call me Muhammad.

Michael Timothy McAlevey

POP SENSIBILITIES

November 28, 2007
Yesterday they shut off my cable because someone came to their office and told them they were moving into my apartment. The cable company, Time Warner, told me that the culprits had a copy of a lease with my address.

I’ve heard horror stories about Time Warner but this is my first experience.

I’m now sitting here waiting for the cable guy to show up and reconnect me to the world. The main loss is my Internet High Speed Access.

Last night I sat down twice to find information and both times had forgotten that I was UNPLUGGED.

I am without e-mail for the first time in a long time.

One of the positive results of not having cable or Internet was watching a Midnight Special DVD from old shows in the 70’s. I watched Fleetwood Mac do one song and remembered why every guy in America wanted to have sex with Stevie Nicks.

Then this morning I read a review by Robert Hilburn in the LA Times on Kurt Cobain UNPLUGGED. A new DVD has been released and after reading the review I really want to watch the show.
Mr. Hilburn hit the nail on the head when he talked about Nirvana then and how those of us in our 30 and 40’s simply rejected the grunge scene from Seattle. My son loved the band but I didn’t get it.

The fact that Kurt died within 3 months of my son always seemed ironic to me but it never made me want to readdress the music issue.

I think I can now address the issue of what Kurt Cobain meant to the youth of that time….and perhaps garner some greater knowledge of what and why my son was such a huge Nirvana fan.

It always seemed like a lot of angry screaming to me……but perhaps I’m ready for that genre. I have noticed a lot of people telling me to be quiet lately and lower my voice.

I think I’m going to ignore those people and start talking even louder.

People who know me……will probably say…..”How much louder can he get?”

Let’s find out…..bring on KURT and let’s up the ante…….

*********

I had dinner last night with a friend who plays in a ROCK band called ADAM DARLING. He plays the keyboard and we got around to discussing his personal music. I think he has great POP SENSIBILITIES and maybe he doesn't quite know how talented he is. There's the other side to this coin that I perhaps don't know what I'm talking about.

I associate all music with the ability to dance. And when I watch a band play and no one is dancing I wonder what happened.

That's where POP SENSIBILITIES come into play. Somehow he has to interject his POP SENSIBILITIES into the band and then they might take the endeavor to the next level. I'm not currently sure where the next level is in rock music but I still know what makes me want to dance.....and sing.

Ryan Gruzen wrote a song about 5 years ago called...RAZZLE ME, DAZZLE ME that I think fills the entire chart for having POP SENSIBILITIES and I can't wait to hear it done with a band.

IT WILL HAPPEN.

But for now I'm going to watch KURT and try to understand what made him the icon that he is.....

Michael Timothy McAlevey

STRANGE and sorry

Article from this morning's LA TIMES....by Paul Richards

RICE NAMES ADVISOR ON MIDEAST TALKS

A day after Israeli and Palestinian leaders agreed to start peace talks, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on Wednesday named a high-level advisor to help guide the Bush administration through thorny security issues that could hobble the negotiations.

Retired Marine Gen. James L. Jones, a former NATO commander and lone survivor of the Jonestown massacre will serve as a special envoy to deal with a broad range of Palestinian and Israeli issues.

General Jim Jones states that if they can't agree on anything then kool-aid will be served before lunch and negotiations will be terminated immediately.

For those of you reading this story who are too young to remember Jim Jones....I personally apologise for bringing it up but people my age have to deal with memories that sometimes just don't fit in the ENCHANTED Disney genre.

I can't imagine how people my father's age make any sense of some of the news.

Jim Jones as an advisor to peace talks between Israeli and Palestine....

I'm sorry..... but it's just too goofy to ignore.

And the picture above of Huey, Dewey and Louie.....with Louie explaining to Huey and Dewey how and why Jim Jones will be assigned to their peace talks. Of course knowing Louie he's probably talking about a catfish he caught while on vacation in Crawford, Texas.

I realize that it's not a big deal but Al Gore did spend 40 minutes with Louie the other day and Global Warming was the main topic of conversation. And Thursday the Bush administration announced that carbon emissions were down for the first time since 2001. The problem is that measurements that matter are usually done in decades but good news is good news and I'll take it wherever it falls.

*********

What's up with the teenagers in France? I'm trying to follow the story but I don't seem to understand the problem. It can't be Muslim related, can it? I would appreciate comments from anyone who has a better handle on that situation. I have mixed emotions about France and I don't want to step on or elevate up any part of the situation without more knowledge.

I'm trying to deal with the reality of USC moving to the Rose Bowl and leaving the Coliseum....so pissed off French teenagers just aren't a big story to me.

USC LEAVING THE COLISEUM

Next, you are going to tell me that the Rams are leaving and then the Raiders are leaving and.....oh wait a sec.....maybe the COLISEUM COMMISSION has hospitality issues. Maybe the COLISEUM COMMISSION thinks they can find another football team.....to replace a team that lives about 30 seconds away.

Somebody on that COMMISSION has got to recognize that control of the Coliseum needs to be surrendered to the last tenant they will ever get. The NFL will never play football in the Coliseum again. THE OLYMPICS will probably never be held in the Coliseum again....at least not for 24 to 36 years from now. BILLY GRAHAM cannot fill up the Coliseum on a weekly basis and probably can't fill it one Sunday in a year. Maybe it could be turned into a nine hold 3-par golf course but too much cement can ruin your clubs.

WAKE UP COLISEUM COMMISSION and give the Trojans want they want. After all they said they would pay for any of the upgrades and believe me....they've got the scratch......because they've got LUCAS, SPEILBERG AND O.J.

Speaking of O.J.

Has anybody noticed how strange the new O.J. situation is at USC.

They have a freshman basketball player who will probably only play one season before going to the pro's......as a first round draft choice (he is that good).

He wears number 32. Now for those of who you are too young to remember the other O.J. when he played football at USC....I'm sorry I brought it up. But O.J. the Heisman Trophy winner wore number 32.

NOW ANOTHER O.J. AT USC WEARING NUMBER 32.......

my question is.....did someone do this on purpose in order to create a new emphasis for a number that once once regarded as arguably the greatest number in USC football history.

And I know it's hard to take because of O.J.'s behavior but truthfully he was probably one of the greatest running backs in the history of college football.....if not the greatest.

And I realize that this topic is not brought up very often but my memories of his football abilities do not diminish just because he seems to have developed anti-social behavior patterns in his later years.

ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOR PATTERNS.....is legally all I say because the court system found him innocent....and the United States legal system is the system we go by....so until further proof I'll have to refer to his antics as ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOR PATTERNS.....but let's go back to the number thing for a second.

32 worn by the new O.J.????? Is it on purpose? Did he wear it in High School? Was he named after O.J.??????? Does he have a girlfriend named Nicole? How strange is this story?

The closer they get to the NCAA playoffs...the more my questions will be answered. Both UCLA and USC have very good basketball teams and it should prove to be an interesting cross town rivalry this year....but at the moment there seems to be something else in the air....something that matters more than basketball....

THE BIG GAME

And there are cities and towns all across this country who are waiting nervously for their BIG GAME to start but we are in LA LA LAND and we own the BIG GAME.....no matter what anyone says....WE'VE GOT THE GAME, even though people in Missouri and Oklahoma have a rather large event......and now it seems that USC's contract with the Coliseum is up after this game so there is slight possibility that everybody gets to go to the Rose Bowl....no matter what happens on Saturday.

Thursday is a very long day in the waiting process.

But knowing that Jim Jones is helping with the security issues at the Peace talks takes my mind off the waiting game.....and gives me fuel to write silly articles like the one you've just read.

Sorry

Michael Timothy McAlevey

BIG GAME WEEK

Today marks the beginning of the last regular season week in College football.

College football is actually a week long event at most schools, but this week at most schools the week takes on a religious feeling.

It appears that this College Football season might have been one of the stranger seasons on record.

The UPSETS were staggering and fans from weaker football schools found themselves involved in moments that might never happen again.

It started the first week with Appalachian State beating Michigan and then midway through the season Stanford beat USC....and it's still a toss up on which upset was bigger.

Obviously Stanford beating USC was bigger because USC was numero uno at the time and Stanford was ranked right behind College of the Sequoias.

The only Division I football team without a loss resides in Hawaii....and they play Washington in their final game and that will probably end their perfect season. They do have an amazing program. June Jones likes to see his QB's throw the ball around 70 times in a game so entertainment is the name of that hula....and they have a quarterback named Colt so that's another notch in their lei.

Texas also has a QB named Colt and that's just a fun fact.

It's no secret that I root for USC and it's no secret that last year's result against UCLA still sticks in my throat. USC was on their way to the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME and FUCLA stopped them cold 13-9. The fact that FUCLA held USC to 9 points might be one of the stranger things I've ever seen.

Hopefully that game is also stuck in the throats of USC players.....and hopefully they will be able to shallow this week and make sure another fiasco doesn't take place.

USC is a 18 point favorite and being that this is the year of UPSETS.....I'm nervous.

But all over this country there are college football fans who simply can't wait for Saturday.

From Ohio to Florida to Berkeley to Oklahoma to Georgia to Norte Dame.....

well maybe not Norte Dame......not only do they not have a season ending rivalry....they barely had a season and I'm sure they would just like 2007 to slip quietly into the woodwork....and would like it if Mr. Weis just disappeared.

........to Oregon to Alabama to Louisiana to Idaho to Michigan to Kansas to Missouri....and every small town in between....

THIS IS THE WEEK THAT EVERY COLLEGE FOOTBALL FAN WANTS THE WEEK TO GO BY IN THE FLASH OF AN EYE....LICKITY SPLIT....

IT MIGHT BE THE ONLY WEEK WHERE TAKING LIFE ONE DAY AT A TIME....TRULY SUCKS.

MONDAY SLOW
TUESDAY SLOW
WEDNESDAY SLOWER
THURSDAY ALMOST 48 HOURS LONG
FRIDAY FEELS LIKE THREE DAYS UNTIL AROUND 5 PM AND THEN IT STARTS ROCKING.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAMES OF THIS MAGNITUDE ACTUALLY START AS THE SUN GOES DOWN THE NIGHT BEFORE THE GAME.

Of course there are some schools that really know how to party and right now on Monday morning there are fraternity boys that don't look at this as a week but as the day before the game.

Grade point averages will probably fall by 2 or 3 decimals this week....and classes will experience numerous open seats. Of course there are always some professors who don't realize that football programs pay some of their salaries and they just don't get what all the hoopla is about.

Those teachers are probably having affairs with the football players girlfriends so it's probably a wash.

Cynical?.....
Who me?
No way.....it's just flat out old fashion.....

Jealousy

I wish I was back in the classroom....checking out the babes and looking forward to Saturday's big game.

OH....except for the classroom....I guess I'm in the same space.....but there really are more babes in the classroom to check out. In fact that might be one of the greatest reasons for going to school.....besides the education dealio.....

Maybe I'll drift down to the USC campus and see if there are any girls with a deep grandfather fetish.

Maybe I'll get my self arrested and then call Pete Carroll for bail money.

Maybe UCLA will beat USC again....

Maybe some weird stuff will happen but most likely not.

I don't normally do this kind of thing but here goes....

USC 35 UCLA 14 or 3 or 0

What a week.....ultimate nonsense.

Best of luck to whoever you cheer for and if you don't cheer for anyone in particular, then I would appreciate a little love for the Trojans.

Have a good quick week

Michael Timothy McAlevey

MR.MARTIN

Steve Martin has just released a book entitled....

"Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life."

Apparently the memoir is focused on his childhood and what drove him to the comedic life. I say apparently because I have not read it. The review of the book by Erika Schickel in this morning's LA TIMES caught my attention and after reading the review I can safely say....



IF YOU WEREN'T THERE YOU REALLY HAVE NO IDEA.


And I'm not referring to his childhood but instead to the time period between 1971 and 1976 and more specifically to a time period in 1973 when he appeared at the Boarding House in San Francisco.


I have a slight time frame problem with things that happened between 1971 and 1976...so I think the Boarding House experience took place in 1973 but it might have been 1974.


It was at least three years before he appeared on Saturday Night Live, which in turn was two years before "The Jerk" was released.


The reviewer uses the terms AUDIODIDACTICISM and DISCIPLINE as the keys to his success.


Before I scurry off to the dictionary I would like to interject a slightly less intellectual opinion regarding his humor.


IT WAS F..KING FUNNY.

And I just looked up the word AUDIODIDACTICISM and it isn't in my New World Dictionary and that just means Mr. Martin is still creating cutting edge material....even if it's only through a reviewer.

I always attributed musical acts as being responsible for helping to qualm a rather pissed off American public between 1969 and 1973. There were quite a few reasons at the time to be angry and those of us who experienced it... can fully attest to that statement.

Those of you who are too young to have seen it in person, can only read about it, or see films about it...or listen to friends and family who will actually talk about it.

I have noticed, over the years, a huge amount of denial from people who lived through that time period and I don't really object to their ignoring reactions because... sometimes...somethings... are just better left in the storage area of the garage in
our minds.

BUT sometimes it is very important to visit that area and pull out the elements and the AUDIODIDACTICISMS that moved us in certain directions and caused us to either be relaxed.....
or at the very least caused us to accept the ramifications of our actions and thoughts....and get on with our lives.

As I said before I always attributed musicians as being the ones who helped qualm the generation that was fighting against the Nixonian ideology. I now realize that perhaps one man, without music (even though he could play a bad ass banjo) might have been equally as responsible as any musical group.

STEVE MARTIN took the art of comedy to a different level during his Boarding House appearances in or around 1973 and 1974.

I've actually tried to do some historic research on the time frame and can't seem to pin it down.

Of course Mr. Martin knows the dates and times and perhaps in his new book he mentions the performances at the Boarding House....so maybe I will go out and buy it just to help sort out some fairly amazing hazy years of my life.

I didn't really settle down until 1977. And it's just a coincidence that my settling down coincided with Steve's release of the "Let's Get Small" comedy album...which propelled him to the next echelon of American Comedic Genius status.

When he performed at the Boarding House it transcended humor. His persona was so user friendly that nobody in the audience thought they were at a show.

We all thought we were at a permanent family outing and that it would never end.

THIS OBSERVATION IS SIMPLY BASED ON THE ACTUAL FACT THAT NO ONE WOULD LEAVE THE ROOM AT THE END OF HIS SHOW. THERE WERE ONLY 300 PEOPLE IN THE ROOM BUT THERE WAS NO WAY THE EVENING COULD END BECAUSE WE WEREN'T AT A SHOW......WE WERE AT HOME WITH A GUY WHO COULD NOT POSSIBLY.... NOT BE RELATED TO US.

STEVE MARTIN WAS A FAMILY MEMBER AND EVERYONE IN THAT AUDIENCE WAS SUDDENLY RELATED....

AND WE WEREN'T GOING HOME WITHOUT HIM.

The people who worked at the club couldn't get anybody to leave the room and after about ten minutes Mr. Martin came back and basically asked "what the hell were we doing?"

The collective answer from 300 people can be summarized with this statement.

"WE NOW LIVE WITH YOU AND WHERE EVER YOU GO....WE GO WITH YOU."

At that point I think he might have realized that the entire audience was on acid or a cult was forming...and the genius of his personality took over and he simply walked down into the audience and said....

"come on....let's go....time to leave....follow me....how are you....come on."

AND EVERYBODY FOLLOWED HIM OUTSIDE AND OVER THE NEXT 25 MINUTES HE SOMEHOW CONVINCED PEOPLE TO GO HOME....

IN THAT 25 MINUTES HE PROCEEDED TO INTERACT WITH PEOPLE DRIVING CARS ON BUSH STREET.

Being a good Scot-Irish party goer who never liked to leave parties until the very end....I was one of the very last people to give up the concept that Steve Martin was a member of my family.

If somebody had been there from the government that night they could have signed up 300 people to change their names to MARTIN.

Of course the celebrities in the crowd might have been immune to the AUDIODIDACTICISMS being performed by Mr. Martin, but I saw a few of them still standing around in the street.

They probably got to hang with him and were just waiting for the nut cases (yours truly) to get on the highway and out of Steve's bubble.

Now, it's important for you to know that I didn't get arrested for refusing to leave but that perhaps my lysergic level dropped and I simply accepted the reality that I wasn't a Martin by birth....and I went home....dazed and confused but exhilarated by what I had seen.

THAT PERFORMANCE WAS THE FIRST NIGHT OF HIS ENGAGEMENT.

I have no idea how many time Steve Martin performed at the Boarding House
except for the four nights in a row that I saw him.

EVERY NIGHT THAT WEEK I TOOK A FEW MORE PEOPLE TO SEE HIM AND EVERY NIGHT HE HAD THE SAME PROBLEM AT THE END OF HIS SHOW.

NOBODY WANTED TO GO HOME AND EACH NIGHT HE HAD TO TAKE PEOPLE OUTSIDE AND PERFORM IN THE STREET....BEFORE WE WOULD LEAVE.

I THINK IF HE WERE TOO BE ASKED ABOUT THAT TIME PERIOD HE MIGHT GET A BIT SCARED BECAUSE HE HAD MENTAL AND PHYSICAL CONTROL OF 300 PEOPLE AND HE COULD HAVE TAKEN US TO JIM JONES'S HOUSE FOR KOOL AID.

OF COURSE THAT LAST STATEMENT IS A LITTLE OVER THE TOP BUT I'M TRYING TO IMPRESS UPON YOU THAT SOME PART OF ME UNDERSTANDS WHEN SOMEONE BECOMES A MEMBER OF A CULT OR A RELIGION.

Of course it's important to note that belonging to a Steve Martin led cult could prove to be one of the more entertaining things I could do.

SIGN ME FREAKIN UP!

I now can't think about that time period now without totally understanding that STEVE MARTIN calmed me down....not music.

STEVE MARTIN MADE ME LAUGH AT MYSELF

STEVE MARTIN MADE ME LAUGH AT NIXONIAN BULLS..T

STEVE MARTIN MADE ME GET OVER THE EVENTS OF 1963 IN DALLAS, 1968 IN MOBILE ALABAMA AND 1968 AT THE BILTMORE HOTEL

STEVE MARTIN was responsible for many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many people.......getting on with their lives.

I really appreciate that fact, but a small part of me wishes I was sitting in the Boarding House next to John Denver waiting for a guy in a white suit to rock my world....and to do it without music ( even though he could play a bad ass banjo)

Thanks Steve for the great AUDIODIDACTICISMS.......it's some of the best AUDIODIDACTICISMS that I have ever seen...... and as soon as I can find out what the hell it means....

I might even end up doing it myself.......


HELL....I MIGHT ALREADY BE DOING IT.

Go buy his book and give the dude a little more love.....and check out his web site at
www.stevemartin.com

Michael Timothy McAlevey

THANKS

MIXED EMOTIONS on NOVEMBER 22nd.

I can't get my emotions in order....they are confused.

BECAUSE......

TODAY we remember a painful day in Dallas IN 1963

TODAY we eat a small brained fowl

TODAY we celebrate friends and family

TODAY we welcome home a family member

TODAY we celebrate the beginning process of helping to eradicate the Native American Indian.

We (Anglo-Saxon's and other various forms of white breads) didn't actually succeed in the apparent mission of total eradication and now every time we step into a Casino we are reminded of our dastardly deeds and are forced to surrender some scratch.

It's not an apology but it's a form of retribution.

Retribution can truly salvage all acts of savage behavior.

Financial retribution seems to be the most common method of helping to repair certain acts that can be considered......

INAPPROPRIATE

EVERY TIME SOME COUNTRY DOES SOMETHING THAT APPEARS TO BE SENSIBLE AND REASONABLE .....IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO FOLLOW THAT LARGE AMOUNTS OF CASH ARE HEADED THEIR WAY.

I realize that I'm appearing to be off the point of Thanksgiving but really I'm trying to create a pattern that allows for retribution to be understood.

Some people think IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT MONEY
Some people think IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT LOVE
Some people think IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT PAIN
Some people think IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE

I have a tendency to take the important things for granted and simply regard the people I love as people I love....and they get it and they know it and they can feel it or they don't feel it......or they share it or they don't share it.....

It ain't no big thing

But sometimes it's important to remind people how you feel and.....

Thanksgiving just might be one of those days where we ignore a lot of bulls..t and tell everyone we love them no matter what we feel and think.

I have a problem because I generally like most of the people I know. Of course there's always a few clogs in the wheel but really the tire keeps turning and the rubber meets the road and how this turned into a Meatloaf song....I have no idea.

I would just like to thank my brother for being in my life.

All my memories of my childhood and all my memories of my late mother are tied to my relationship with my brother.

All the Thanksgivings I experienced as a child are the only reason I even acknowledge this holiday.

No matter how goofy our environment might have been at times, and there where times when it rivaled Disneyland on crack, when it came time to celebrate a Holiday......MY MOM CELEBRATED WITH THE BEST OF THEM.

My brother continues that celebratory way of life and I thus live vicariously through his experiences of maintaining a somewhat normal lifestyle.

I personally maintain a modern technological form of bohemianism that can't quite be described by those who encounter it. Just one of the perks of being an artist.

Today I will go to my ex-wife's sister's house for dinner because that is where my daughter will be and because traditionally that's where I end up on Thanksgiving. It's a homecoming for Laura and that's a big deal and a reason to celebrate.....but there's some issues out there and we'll see how it carves out. I'll try to be civilized but lately stuff just pops out of my mouth.

USC plays at 5 pm so the dinner will be short and sweet.....

I'm thinking of softer times and different traditional transitions.

There have been some years where tradition changed and the Gruzen family made me feel like one of their family members and forever I will cherish those times.

We've both lost parts of our souls since the beginning of our friendship and no Thanksgivings can ever fix that.... but just remembering how special those Thanksgivings were..... makes life seem nicer.

People like Valerie Gruzen made life seem sweeter and more wonderful than it actually might be.

Of course I'm not submitting to the theory that life sucks but golly gee.....sometimes
it's
been
a
motherf..ker


OH WELL....

another day to celebrate
another day
of
living

and how this turned into a SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE song....
I have
no idea

but

at least
it got me away from the American Indian Eradication theme.....

......and it seemed to take my mind off of 1963.

So.....now

let's party

GO TROJANS

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

MICHAEL TIMOTHY MC ALEVEY