Serious election time

The polls vary according to who is trying to blow smoke up our ass.  

Someone did a poll in Enid, Oklahoma and they thought Hillary Clinton was killed in an e-mail accident while visiting Libya.

One poll in Bangor, Maine didn't get the Donald Trump joke and thought he was making a new TV show.

In Oxford, Mississippi they were pretty sure Bill Clinton was still President and that smoking cigs in BBQ restaurants was actually important for helping improve the flavor of the meat.  Half the people polled learned to smoke pot at Ole Miss.

A poll was taken just outside of El Paso and they thought JFK faked his death just to give Texas a bad name.

At a nursing home in Sarasota,Florida the polls taken indicated that they weren't sure if women were allowed to vote.

A pollster stumbled upon a group outside of Boulder, Colorado and they offered him some of their home grown and he hasn't been heard from since......the group thought the election had taken place in June and that Obama got elected to a third term.

Another pollster was working a small town east of Bakersfield, California and they weren't quite sure what the date was when 9/11 happened.

A poll was taken at MIT and everyone in the physics department was convinced that elections exist only in a parallel universe and even thinking about them was unhealthy.

The pollster who was working the streets of Detroit hasn't reported in since July.  Rumor is that he hooked up with Kid Rock and is now working on the Trump campaign as a hotel site scout.

Polls in the mountains of Arkansas indicated that Bill and Hillary were actually siblings and so what?

Multiple polls were taken in Native American, or First Nation, reservations, or whatever they call the land where they live and the last time a vote was taken Marlin Brando was elected President of the United States.

Every minority pollster working in Chicago was killed with in two days of asking questions.

They tried to take a poll of the maids at one of Donald Trump's hotels but nobody was a citizen.

Pollsters talked to the Marketing team that handles Donald Trumps Brand and they chose not to be interviewed but did say that Mr. Trump running for President was the best branding idea they ever had......and they plan on doing it for George Clooney in 2020 after Trump fires them on 60 Minutes the week after November 8th.

The Clinton Conspiracy Blogs were polled and they simply showed statistics on how the Clinton's had murdered 37 people since 1972.

One polling group went to the Nuclear Waste facility in New Mexico but didn't go through the gates because everything was glowing a very eerie green.

A pollster decided to visit Aleppo but discovered that it was now a land fill.  He thought Aleppo was in Iowa because he used to be a linebacker in the NFL.

They polled Hillary's High School and it was discovered that she was a bit on the shy side until her senior year when she convinced people to stop using her nickname...."Hammerin RodHam."

And then one of the major polling companies interviewed 25 million people and 98% thought Jill Stein owned an Eye-Clinic at UCLA and that Gary Johnson was a running back for the Miami Dolphins.

You do realize there is a valid reason that half the eligible voters in America don't usually vote.

And I don't think it's an IQ dealio....I just think a huge percentage of people in America don't give a flying f**k about anything other than what they are doing.  They like to watch TV after coming home from work and that explains how they even know who Donald Trump is........and the polls say that millions of those non-voters are going to vote this time and that they are going to vote for that funny guy with the toupee who says..."You're Fired." 

Everything about this election makes very little sense....so adding some nonsense just seemed to make perfect sense.

Michael Timothy McAlevey