From one extreme to another

The Big Bang is thought to have kick-started the universe about 13.7 billion years ago. At first, the universe was too hot and dense for particles to be stable, but then the first quarks formed, which then grouped together to make protons and neutrons, and eventually the first atoms were created. After about 500 million years, the first stars, galaxies and black holes began to take shape.
( word for word from http://www.space.com/)

Today scientists announced that they think they might be able to see those early moments.

Right after The Big Bang........... the comma was invented.

I realize this is going to appear ridiculous from someone who blatantly abuses the grammatical infrastructure of the English language, on a very consistent basis I might add, but have you thought lately on much information you  don't remember about the use of a comma. I doubt very much that this issue has caused you sleepless nights.  I, on the other hand, lay awake contemplating the rules of many endeavors, including, but not limited to, the following physical and mental exercises:

golf
grammar
prayer
meditation
baseball
script writing
color blending
Universal truths

I realize I should be directing thought processes toward the acquisition of increased monetary substance, but once one reaches a certain age, and that problem hasn't been alleviated, then one has a tendency to doubt its existence within the said personal universe. It's not that I wouldn't like to have financial security, it's just that it doesn't appear to be part of my physical DNA.  Of course I'm pretty stubborn when it comes to how it might be achieved, so that clearly is.....part of the problem.

AND THE SIMPLE FACT THAT COMMA USAGE BOTHERS ME MORE THAN BEING BROKE COULD POSSIBLY INDICATE A SMALL BRAIN TUMOR.

Of course, as you have clearly noticed, I like to play with the structure of a sentence (AND THE ENTIRE LANGUAGE, FOR THAT MATTER).......and the repeated use of these little spots......also known a Periods, when used alone, and called Ellipsis when used in sets of three.

I believe that names should be applied when using two,four, five, six, seven or eight of them.

I like using...........to separate my ideas and since I'm not being paid for any of my literary endeavors I feel that I have the right to do whatever the fuck I want.

You pretty much get the point I'm trying to make, when I'm trying to make a point......I think.

But I must confess that the use of a comma has always baffled me.  Not the obvious separation of dates and years and towns and states and names, but when using it with coordinating conjunctions and compound sentences.......I have a predisposition to, let's softly say, create errors.

I don't really care, but you probably do.

Let me state right here.....when I complete a script, I'm fairly certain that most of my grammatical errors have been corrected before binding.

Of course, I could be flat out mistaken in that particular observation.

The true beauty of the Internet, and there are a supreme number of beautiful tangents that one can state, when one is thinking about the Internet, is that you can type in the word comma and within 10 seconds there will appear 10,000 explanations on how, when and where to properly use the little freak.

I've noticed when using the grammar button that often times it doesn't know that I'm trying to say something, which might not be grammatically correct, but is substantively.........spot on.

At this moment you might be asking yourself.....didn't this piece start off about the beginning of the Universe?

Of course, you would be correct.

I needed a ploy to suck you in to the real, and much more important,  problems of the Universe.

Two very important problems are as follows; the comma placement and the simple fact that when they seperated the two gay lovers at Belmont Race Track,  for security reasons, the mojo was broken and the Triple Crown attempt was sadly ended.

Very few people, other than the owner and the trainer, realize that I'll Have Another and Lava Man are gay....and only time will tell if being a gay horse prevents one from performing their studly duties. Lava Man had his manhood removed as a three year old and went on to win $5,268,706.  He has been the non-stop companion for I'll Have Another until this last week when the officals at Belmont Park made all the contestants move to a seperate facility, without their pony companions.  It broke his heart and then, trying to kick his way out of the new stall, he damaged his leg.

Of course, you won't hear that story anyplace else.....but a few years from now when I'll Have Another keeps firing blanks, you will recall that I had the inside information.

On the very same day that scientist might have seen the beginning of The Universe, and I reminded you about comma usage.

What a day!

June 9, 2012

Have a great weekend.

Michael Timothy McAlevey