More sanctions for USC

The NCAA announced new sanctions this morning for USC.

1) Anyone who received a degree during Reggie Bush's Heisman trophy year has to forfeit their degree and enroll at a Community College.

2) Steven Spielberg has to return any money he made in 2004 and 2005.

3) Mike Garrett has to take back anything he said that was considered intellectual.

That actually won't be hard.

4) George Lucas has to rewrite the ending of the Star Wars saga.

5) All lawyers who received their law degree from USC from 2004 to 2006 are immediately barred from any lawsuit that deals with sports.

6) Pete Carroll has to return to USC and coach for ten more years.

7) Jerry Buss, the owner of the Lakers, has to give Kobe Bryant his unconditional release

because he played poker after attending USC football games in 2004 and 2005.

8) Pete Rose must become the new Athletic Director.

9) The tuition at USC must be reduced to $250 a year for the next five years.

The power of the NCAA is beyond belief.

Michael Timothy McAlevey