100th and a little look inside

Am I delusional or are WE delusional? The WE referring to those of us who will always continue to pursue the "elements" and "aspects" of our personality that we regard as the most rewarding....and most satisfying moments of our life. (having children born healthy is off the charts and beyond satisfying and has no bearing on this piece)

Those moments that are created by some artistic twist within our twisted minds.

Rewarding "elements" and "aspects" of an artist's mind can hopefully be defined as "talent."

BUT THE WORD TALENT IS REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY A SUBJECTIVE WORD

so I choose to use the rewarding "elements" and "aspects" terms. If you don't like it.....write your own blog.

I know I have delusional fragments within my mental structure, but I don't assume that I am alone in this matter....and I am fairly careful about sharing things unless I think they are done well....or at less well done.

When one continues to pursue the most rewarding "elements" and "aspects" of one's personality, without generating income from that pursuit....then delusional is a word that surfaces...usually among family members and certain friends.

I had one of my very best friends tell me yesterday that I would NEVER have any money because I wasn't trying to schedule an interview with any companies in the Furniture Industry...of which I used to be somewhat involved, on a fringe level......a fringe level being the making and selling of art to furniture stores. Talk about a delusional endeavor. Trying to convince the average furniture store owner that he needs art in his store might be one of the great delusional endeavors of all time. Furniture stores need furniture.....everything else is smoke and mirrors and silly puff stuff.

My friend is well aware of all the art I have created and he is quite familiar with the breath of my writing "inventory." I'm not sure if he likes what I've written because he's not really a "reader".....he's a doer......I'm aware of this because I gave him a script I wrote ten years ago and he hasn't gotten past the tenth page.....which one page a year could make someone think someone else was not a "reader." It can't be the material because the first ten pages are simply an introduction to the story. But if one is not a "reader" than introductions and content sections don't mean a hill of beans.

I've always wondered when I would write "hill of beans." I've chosen my 100th blog to use an expression that I've known all my life.

A HILL OF BEANS. Where and what is that expression from?

My friend did not use the word delusional because I didn't pursue the conversation except to say......"NEVER.....wow, that is a very long time."

I realized at that moment he might be a conduit representative for the rest of my friends and family....much like the people were on the great CBS show Joan of Arcadia......saying something one minute as the oracle and then a few minutes later not remembering anything that was said.

It scared me because he might be right.

If I NEVER have any financial reward from pursuing the most rewarding "elements" and "aspects" of my personality.....then I will simply have no financial reward from doing the things that I like the best.....and also from doing the things that I think I am best at doing.....which allows the delusional term to sneak in and become part of the agenda.

I mean....I've watched those early contestants on American Idol and they really do believe that they can sing and entertain......THEY REALLY REALLY DO BELIEVE IT.

So what makes me different when it comes to pursuing my talent?

I try to make a point of not sharing what I do unless it meets a certain standard within my structural artistic framework.

I have been writing "columns" like this for forty years. Many of them reside within journals because I enjoy the art of hand writing. Many of them reside in boxes on typed papers because I used to enjoy the sound of electric typewriters....and I used to enjoy using different colors of typing paper so many of my "columns" have a sense of color about them.....but that's the visual artist screaming for exposure and at the moment we are ignoring that bastard and dealing with this bastard.

And trust me when I say that the artist is a bastard. There is no mother or father involved in the process of being an artist.....it is a fully individually adopted role that one either develops or ignores.

And those who usually ignore that role.....go on to lead happy and prosperous life styles....running businesses, buying homes, taking vacations and making sure their families are secure and that money isn't an underlying issue every freakin second of every freakin day.

Those of us who choose to develop the adopted role of an artist do so because..

WE HAVE TO BREATHE

WE HAVE NO CHOICE ONCE WE'VE MADE THE DECISION

AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT AGE ONE BECOMES......

THE OLDER AN ARTIST GETS.............ONLY MEANS ONE THING.........

MORE INVENTORY

I like the fact that I can share some of my inventory, on a daily basis, with cyberspace reality...which appears to be a rapidly growing reality....and if this is simply an exercise in delusional behavior....then so be it.

Delusion and illusion might be the backbone of quite a few endeavors taking place around the globe.

Hopefully one more small exercise won't tip the scales toward total planetary insanity....which appears to be developing quite well without any help on my part.....unless of course my 100th blog becomes just another piece of inventory that can be documented and archived to show that delusion and insanity were rampant during the early part of the 21st century.....especially among the writers and artist who actually thought that doing the work was more important than doing it for money.

Of course all of us who haven't reached a level of financial freedom.....always say the same thing....but we really don't control that part of the process. All we can do is the work.

Creating 100 blogs, since Christmas day of 2006, has been a lot of fun.....and hopefully it shows that I am indeed doing the work.

Anybody who wants to see more work....just simply has to ask.

The world of the Blog exists so that no one has to ask anybody for permission to view a person's inventory.

and for the 100th time I say.....

Michael Timothy McAlevey