Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Prognosticating prognosticator

Instead of PREDICTING results I feel much more comfortable PROGNOSTICATING results. The difference is that prognostication is done from reading signs or noticing indications of things to come. Predictions are just flat out final opinions. If the signs change at anytime, then a prognostication can change.....nothing is set in stone.
Prognostications are predictions for the chicken hearted....or for those of us who like to look back and say.....I missed the highway sign and that's why I missed the exit.....or in this case, the prognostication.
On the last day of February 2007 it looks like the 2008 Presidential election will be between......
RUDY G......and......sorry it's too close to call....Barack O......and Hillary C.......are splitting the money, the black voters interest and the female voters interest.....which could result in John Edwards becoming the safety factor.
The beauty of Prognostication is that signs let you know all the silly places to visit.....and if I've learned one thing about human nature.....we see what we want to see and often times don't see anything else.
Does the human species dominate the term........myopic vision?
When it comes to political choices and issues.....myopic vision becomes a perfect 20.......please note that it is impossible for myopic vision to be 20/20.
I like to think that I notice most of the signs......I can't see all of the signs because some are so tiny that they are almost impossible to read.
Especially when it comes to political mumbo jumbo. The art of being a politician is truly an art unto itself. Any one who has been fortunate or unfortunate to meet one,for longer than a handshake, will attest to this special art.
A regular person doesn't normally occupy the desire to have political power.
It's a special breed.......and that is one explanation way only 50% of the population bothers to cast their votes....in a Presidential election.
LOCAL ELECTIONS ARE LUCKY IF THERE IS A 35% TURN OUT.
IT'S NOT THE ISSUES....IT'S THE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THE ISSUES.
THEY ARE JUST FREAKING DIFFERENT AND WHEN ANYONE THINKS OF POLITICIANS THEY WOULD DO QUITE WELL TO REFER TO QUOTES BY MARK TWAIN, WILL ROGERS AND ??????????
Who is the modern version of those voices?
The problem is.....one has to be extremely clever and witty and lovable and on point. And of course the word f..k can't be used.....so that eliminates almost every clever, witty, lovable and on point satirist living today.
Have I gone off point at this point? That is just one of the twists and turns involved in the world of prognostication.
Here's a few sports prognostications.....which really have no foundation, and just a few little signs....scattered here and there......
THE DODGERS WILL IMPROVE THEIR REGULAR SEASON RECORD OF 2006.
THE RIGHT FIELD PAVILION AT DODGER STADIUM WILL HAVE A LOT OF EMPTY SEATS....UNTIL THEY GET RID OF THE FOOD FEAST CONCEPT.
NORMAR AND MIA WILL NOT NAME THEIR TWINS MITT & KICKER
THE DETROIT TIGERS WILL LOVE GARY SHEFFIELD FOR ABOUT TWO WEEKS OR TWO MINUTES DEPENDING ON WHO YOU ASK
LAST YEARS AMERICAN LEAGUE MVP WILL STILL WONDER WHY NO ONE TALKS ABOUT HIM OR MENTIONS HIS NAME
JOE MAUER WILL BAT 600 THIS YEAR JUST BECAUSE HE'S PISSED HE WASN'T MVP
RANDY JOHNSON WILL PITCH UNTIL HE STARTS SHRINKING.....AROUND THE AGE OF 74
ROGER CLEMENS WILL JOIN A TEAM IN LATE AUGUST...FOR 26 MILLION DOLLARS
A. ROD AND DEREK WILL ANNOUNCE THAT THEY ARE GAY AND HAVE HAD A SMALL PLACE IN SOHO FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS
BILL CLINTON WILL BE ARRESTED FOR PUTTING OUT A CONTRACT ON DAVID GEFFEN
(kind of a sporting event)
A. ROD AND DEREK WILL BE VERY UPSET BY THE NEWS
75 PERCENT OF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC WILL WONDER WHO DAVID GEFFEN IS
25 PERCENT WILL WONDER WHO BILL CLINTON IS.....and that's a truth that really scares the s..t out of me.....
THE NEW YORK YANKEES WILL FINALLY WIN ANOTHER WORLD SERIES BECAUSE OF THE COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET NEWS FROM THEIR TWO MAIN PLAYERS
This is officially the most gay humor I've ever used in anything I've ever written.
WHY ARE YOU TAKING A MOMENT TO ANALYZE THAT STATEMENT?
STOP IT!
Tomorrow I'll make blond jokes and you won't think I'm turning blond....so knock it off.
Prognostications can really get things going....don't you think?
MICHAEL TIMOTHY MC ALEVEY

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The First Time

This morning I bought the New York Times for the first time in my life. The reason being; they have a front page story on.....are you ready..... COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER.

There's a slight twist to their story that wasn't mentioned previously in the two small paragraph blurb on page A17 of the LA TIMES.

There is speculation by people, researchers and "experts", that the Bees are leaving the colonies and flying off in search of pollen and nectar and simply not returning. "They" say that the Bees are "presumably" dying in the fields......from "exhaustion" or "disorientation".....and then "eventually falling victim to the cold."

Apparently this reasoning stems from the lack of Bee corpses.....which sounds like a new vitamin.....Have you had your Beecorpses (B13) today?

I'm really worried that CCD might be a labor issue. It's going to be extremely difficult to conduct negotiations with a striking Bee force. First problem is the Queen.....which just reminded me how goofy the Red Carpet show was before the Oscars, when the QUEEN dude has the final say on what makes a women look hot.....but talk about another topic for another time.

Let's BEE on point here.

What if this is simply a case of "we can't live in this bad gang area anymore" syndrome. Remember the Killer Bee's have arrived in North America and maybe the regular Bee's are just hitting the highway because the Killer Bee's are just assholes.

I really don't want to be making jokes about this issue but I'm trying to bring up possibilities on CCD and each one appears to have some humor involved.

THE END RESULT OF THIS ISSUE HAS NO HUMOR INVOLVED

NONE

ZIP

BLANKO

Just for your information the percentage of the following items are pollinated by BEES.

BLUEBERRIES.......90%
ALMONDS..............100%
APPLES..................90%
GRAPES..................1%

Obviously this list is just a short sampling of things we consume.

I wonder who does the main pollination of the grapes?

Methods of pollination, other than insects.....which seems like such an ugly word for a Bee.....include birds, wind and rainwater. And if Global Warming is a fact then rainwater becomes an issue and I find it hard to imagine birds hanging without rainwater.

The fact that Wind helps pollinate seems logical but also appears to be a hit and miss proposition. I wonder how much pollination gets prevented from those Wind Turbines which dominate the landscape as you drive into Palm Springs.....and which by the way, should be painted in various colors. Is white a wind attractor? Do they have to wash those blades...ever?

How amazing would it be to climb up there to wash the blades, and discover millions of Bees splattered against the surface.

We then discover that Bees have started their own X Games and one of the annual events is how many blades can a worker Bee...dodge?

In the New York Times article it states that the price of a bee colony is $135.00. In 2004 the price was $55.00

Maybe somebody should be investigating certain Beekeepers....like the ones who've spend time in prison.
Imagine if CCD was being caused by some BEEKEEPER asshole who is trying to create a monopoly.

A QUEEN bee cost $15.00 Three years ago she was $10.00

Maybe some overly dominate Queen bee Agent is trying to narrow the field.....and soon a QUEEN BEE will cost $490,000.00.

And there will only six of them working.

And Blueberries will be $200.00 a basket, Almonds $400.00 a bag, Apples $25.00 a piece and
wine will be really cheap because it will be needed to help us ignore the other problems.

You get the picture....and the fact that the New York Times gets the picture is a really good thing.....even thought that doesn't mean the problem will be solved....at least it's being addressed by an important arm of the media.......for The First Time.

Michael Timothy McAlevey

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Time for Prayer or whatever

Everyday should include a few moments of prayer......and now we need to define the word.

New World Dictionary
prayer 1) the act or practice of praying, as to God 2) an earnest request; entreaty ; supplication 3) a humble and sincere request to God or a god 4) any spiritual communion with God

Now if you don't believe in God or a god then prayer isn't going to be something that you spend time doing...

BUT WAIT.....

The calm internal moments created during prayer is also duplicated during meditation
and
watching
stupid television shows
and
really nice long
daydreaming sessions

All the nonsense going on in the world truly makes those moments of calm a very important element of ones daily life.

Sleep is the number one recharger...but putting your awake time on momentary pauses is very important.

I really love daydreaming but I also feel great after a prayer.

WHATEVER DRIVES YOUR BOAT

JUST DO SOMETHING THAT HELPS YOU RELAX EVERY SINGLE DAY....AND ESPECIALLY DURING THOSE MOMENTS THAT REALLY ARE STRESSFUL.

Michael Timothy McAlevey




Friday, February 23, 2007

I can't believe I'm even going there.....

I avoided ALL of the ANS( anna nicole smith) fiasco until early this morning when I decided to watch some video's of the judge on CNN.com.

I had no idea that court could be so entertaining......of course I refuse to be sucked into paparazzi hell but watching Judge Larry might be the most entertaining moment in the history of court room drama. It really felt like I was watching an episode of Boston Legal and I kept waiting for William Shatner and James Spader to pop in and add their two cents. The credits didn't say anything about David E. Kelley but somehow I'm sure he got to Judge Larry.
After everything is said and done....and I'm still not sure who won or lost in the case even though she will be buried in the Bahamas.....the real winner in this case is Judge Larry.
American Idol should hire him immediately as the fourth judge.....imagine the tears and emotion as he responds to the final 18 contestants.....it's a natural.
I can tell you one thing for sure.....YouTube will make Judge Larry a household name....
And if you don't know who ANS is and haven't heard of Judge Larry and have no idea who David E. Kelly is and didn't know that CNN had a .com...... then all I can say is...
WOW.........YOU ARE THE BOMB and you have a life that obviously has purpose and meaning well beyond the nonsense of orchestrated media reality.
Of course it could also mean that you are homeless and the shelter only lets you watch cartoons.
AND NOW I'M GOING TO CHANGE THE PACE OF TODAY'S BLOG
TODAY'S LA TIMES....PAGE A18
TUCSON;
Rodeo parade spectators watching in horror Thursday as a 5-year old girl, Brielle Bollsvert, was thrown off her horse and trampled by an out-of-control team of horses pulling a wagon. She died a short time later at the hospital.
The parade is part of the 82nd annual La Fiesta de los Vaqueros.
I TOTALLY APOLOGISE FOR BRINGING THIS STORY INTO YOUR LIFE BUT SOMETIMES REALITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE LIKES OF PEOPLE LIKE ANNA NICOLE SMITH AND BRITNEY SPEARS and EVERYTHING TO DO WITH PEOPLE LIKE BRIELLE BOLSVERT.
It turns out that she was three years younger than parade rules allow...which means only one thing....
"what the f..k were her parents thinking?"
It's one thing to try and sneak your five year old onto a 6 year old Tee-ball team and quite another thing to let your five year old sit on top of a 600 pound animal with a brain the size of a grape.
The strange part of the story will be when her parents sue the parade organization....when in reality the parents should be sued by everyone who learns about this story....which now unfortunately includes...you.
I can't wait to see Judge Larry on this trial....he will be a total basket case.
I'm sorry but I've got to go exercise and try to release some endorphins in order to offset the tone of today's report....
You should do the same thing.....
NOW
Michael Timothy McAlevey

Thursday, February 22, 2007

What the hell??????


There are so many things in the world to try and improve, and when one attempts to focus on all the problems, then one can become a raveling lunatic. So it’s important to narrow the focus down to things that can be fixed….or at the very least, things that can be improved.
What’s really depressing is to learn about a new problem and realize that it had never been addressed by the main stream media…..and by main stream media I’m referring to FRONT PAGE news or FRONT SECTION news in large metropolitan areas, and HEADLINE NEWS presented by one of the four major networks.
I’ve never heard about the following problem….and being a male I’m having a real issue trying to visualize exactly what the hell they are talking about.
THIS IS A NEWS ITEM POSTED ON THE UN WIRE SITE un.wire@smartbrief.com
DATED FEBRUARY 12TH
Commentary: Female circumcision goes beyond Africa A recent study by a German nongovernmental organization finds that female genital mutilation, or FGM, is much more widespread in the Arab Muslim world than previously believed. Following extensive research in Iraqi Kurdistan, the authors of the report warn in a Baltimore Sun commentary that FGM should no longer be considered strictly an African problem, and that greater efforts are needed globally to curb the practice.
WHAT THE HELL?
I’m going to research this bizarre story but I know I’m going to reach a brick wall where some religiousfreakoid will be quoting some ancient text regarding a translation concerning this issue….and then it will come down to multiple interpretations being juxtaposed in order to satisfy the further excuse of being totally insane.
NEW INTERNATIONAL and UNIVERSAL LAW
NO WHERE ON THIS PLANET SHOULD A FEMALE BE CIRCUMCISED.
Anyone found involved in this act will be sent to the new-man made, small shovel digging Grand Canyon project on the northern coast of Russia.
WHAT THE HELL?
I thought COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER was a problem…..but at least it’s a problem being caused by something medical….like a virus or a Beeflu or whatever…..but when something is a problem that is being caused by human beings, then I really get upset and paranoid.
I GET REALLY UPSET WHEN I REALIZE THAT IT’S MOST LIKELY A RELIGIOUS PRACTICE HANDED DOWN FROM A TIME WHEN EVERYONE WAS STILL NESTLED AROUND THE NEANDERTHAL FIRE...TRYING TO FIGURE OUT......ANYTHING.
This comes down to TRADITION and one of the reasons that I despise the CONSERVATIVE MINDSET.
THE FACT THAT INFLUENCES FROM THE PAST, THAT ARE PROVEN TO BE OUTDATED AND LUDICROUS, STILL DETERMINE POLICY.....IS A FACT THAT MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE.
SO MUCH OF THAT POLICY REST IN THE TRADITIONS OF RELIGIOUS THINKING.
NOTHING NEW IS ALLOWED
ALL DOCTRINE HAS BEEN WELL ESTABLISHED AND SHALL NOT BE ALTERED
WHAT THE HELL?
Our ability to determine what should be done...what could be done....and what must be done....is an ability that must be altered as higher evolutionary stages become obvious.
HIGHER EVOLUTIONARY STAGES ARE BEING REACHED IN CERTAIN CORNERS OF THIS PLANET.
IN OTHER CORNERS THERE APPEARS TO BE A REAL PRESENCE OF CRO-MAGNUM AND NEANDERTHAL PERSONALITIES...AND THOSE PERSONALITIES APPEAR TO BE MAKING DECISIONS THAT AFFECT MILLIONS OF PEOPLE.
WHAT THE HELL?
And I can promise you one thing.....those previous evolutionary thinking morons are basing their beliefs, and actions, on something written a very long time ago....and probably written on a piece of papyrus.
WHAT THE HELL?
TO ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE, AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE:
IT'S TIME TO JOIN THE NEXT STAGE OF HIGHER HUMAN MENTAL DEVELOPMENT.
or be sent to the man-made, small shovel digging GRAND CANYON PROJECT in northern Russia.
IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO USE YOUR BRAIN....THEN AT LEAST HISTORY CAN USE YOUR BACK....BECAUSE IN 500 YEARS WHEN PEOPLE SEE THE BIG MAN-MADE, SMALL SHOVEL DIGGING GRAND CANYON PROJECT IN NORTHERN RUSSIA...THEY WON'T HAVE TO ASK HOW THAT WAS BUILT.
THEY WILL SIMPLY KNOW THAT IT WAS BUILT BY
IDIOTS
WHAT THE HELL?
MICHAEL TIMOTHY MC ALEVEY

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Curtain draws on Award Season

I was born in Hollywood.....my first bed being located 5 blocks from Hollywood and Vine....so I feel quite qualified to discuss the strange wonders of show biz.
One of the strangest wonders is how much attention we give to the Actor in our social structure....and it's one thing to idolize personalities that have reached star status, but it's an entirely other thing to take an interest in their internal ass kissing moments.
The Academy Awards is the ultimate internal ass kissing event.
The only people who vote on the awards are Academy members.....and there's always been a question to the actual viewing of a product or a performance....before the vote gets placed.
At least American Idol finalists get selected by voting of the general public....which by the way is one of the greatest financial scams in the history of scams.
EVERY VOTE PLACED COSTS THE VOTER MONEY. I used to think the logo display on shirts, hats and jackets was the best scam....but then the TEXT MESSAGE CHARGES to vote for someone in a contest, that is already reaping millions of dollars, appeared and that's the new absurd winner.
One of the silliest version of this scam is during a sports event.
Example: Local televised Dodger game. Vin Scully ( who I know doesn't want to do it) during the third inning announces the following.... "WHO DO YOU THINK WAS THE BEST PITCHER FOR THE DODGERS....1) SANDY KOUFAX 2) DON DRYSDALE 3) FERNANDO VALENZUELA ....The number appears on the screen.....He then says....normal Text Message fees apply....or phone charges. The NUMBER IS A 900 NUMBER OR A 866 NUMBER.
EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOTES IT COST THEM MONEY AND THE DODGERS MAKE 40% OF THE COST.
THE LAKERS AND THE CLIPPERS ALSO DO IT.....DON'T KNOW ABOUT HOCKEY BUT I'M SURE THEY AREN'T IDIOTS.
EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOTES FOR AN AMERICAN IDOL IT COST THEM MONEY AND AMERICAN IDOL MAKES 40% OF THE COST.
THE NON-FUNNY PART ABOUT THIS SITUATION....IS THAT AMERICAN IDOL SAYS YOU CAN VOTE AS MANY TIMES AS YOU LIKE.
THAT'S SO KIND OF THEM!
Imagine if the ACADEMY went to this type of system.....and allowed TEXT MESSAGE VOTING to determine the winners. They could hold the voting for two months and make enough money to keep the Motion Picture Home in Woodland Hills stocked with food and supplies for the next ten years.
The world of entertainment and sports has always been an important part of our culture....but when it comes to Award shows.....entertainment kicks the crap out of sports. In fact the only sports award show is the ESPY's and nobody has any idea when it happens.
In fact, the entertainment business has done such an incredible job in this area that they have an entire SEASON devoted to it.......AWARDS SEASON.
AWARDS SEASON draws to a close this Sunday with OSCAR standing tall and golden.
I had a dream last night that JACK, CARL and OSCAR had a big shindig. A fight broke out with big nose JACK kicking the crap out of smiling face CARL and OSCAR just stood on the side laughing and drinking Krystal....and standing next to OSCAR was Leonardo, Johnny, Nicole and Penelope.....
93 Million people watched the Super Bowl....35 million people watch American Idol.....my guess is that at least 25 million people will watch the Oscars.
An insane moment would occur if Ellen came on stage and said...." We are conducting a telephone poll and we want to know what movie was your favorite....1) Little Miss Sunshine 2) The Departed 3) Pirates of Caribbean.....Please note....standard Text Messages apply."
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN MADE MORE MONEY THAN ALL THE NOMINATIONS COMBINED....so why not get those customers involved.....there's quite a few of them and the text charges would be considerable....
I'M SO SORRY I EVEN BROUGHT THIS UP.
My predictions.....which are only being offered because I'm tired of bringing up COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER and silliness is good from time to time.
AND REALLY.....THE OSCARS IS JUST ABOUT THE SILLY THING WE DO IN OUR SOCIETY.
Determining an ACTOR doing a better job than another ACTOR is absolutely RIDICULOUS.
One can easily identify an ACTOR doing a bad job.......but when the level of ability reaches this height....the only thing that separates one from another is the script and the story....and oh yeah, and the moment of who likes who the best....and who wants to kiss whose ass the most.
BEST MOVIE......LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
BEST DIRECTOR.......MARTIN SCORSESE
BEST ACTOR......FOREST WHITAKER
BEST ACTRESS....QUEEN ELIZABETH
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR......ALAN ARKIN
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS.....ABIGAIL BRESLIN
And I'd go deeper into the awards but I realize that most of my readers have gone off to watch the TIVO of last night's American Idol.
I know one thing.....they haven't gone off to learn about COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER.
How cool would it be if Forest Whitaker brought it up....."I want to thank the Academy for this award and I suggest that you all learn as much as you can about COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER....because if you don't, OSCAR will only be important if you can eat it."
And the fact that a story about cannibalism is being celebrated again....just blows my mind.
So during the awards.....another announcement is made.....
"We want to know who you think was the best cannibal of all time.....1) Hannibal Lecter 2) Idi Amin 3) Jeffery Dumar.....Normal Text Message fees apply."
Again....I am so sorry I brought this idea up.....the one thing about Hollywierd.....good ideas do not go unnoticed.....and many horrible ideas become huge projects.
Next year there will be an Award show just for what poll made the American public look the most stupid.
It would be easy because it's all about money and the facts and figures are recorded.
How many times have you placed a call to vote for something that means absolutely nothing in the scheme of things?
Sorry I asked.
Michael Timothy McAlevey





Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Supreme Reality

It doesn't seem to be discussed very often among the political pundits.....especially the media pundits...but without a doubt the most important aspect of winning a Presidential Election, is the possible appointment of Judges on the Supreme Court.
One can say whatever they want about who controls the House and the Senate....but the final say in all legal matters comes down to the nine judges who sit on the Supreme Court....and if a President is lucky during his term....he can select two and sometimes three judges.....
If extremely lucky a President can select the Chief Justice....of which there have only been 17 since the beginning.
The last four Chief Justices have been appointed by Republicans.
Franklin Roosevelt appointed eight during his elongated term in office. Eisenhower got four during the fun 50's.
The Left vs. The Right, when talking about the Supreme Court, is the only game in town. In my mind a Supreme Court Judge is suppose to be a centrist......one shouldn't be able to figure out a Judge's political leaning, but that obviously is not the case.
Apparently, after the centrist Sandra Day O'Conner retired....the new Bush appointed Judge Samuel Alito, who leans to the right, has leaned so far to that right that he has strengthen Antonin Scalia's position as the leader of the leaning right.
We are leaning.......and during this current lean major rulings will be handed down, by the end of June, regarding......
Race
Religion
Abortion Rights
Campaign Finance
When Conservatives start getting excited about Supreme Court rulings.....I get very very nervous.
And apparently they have very good reasons for being excited.
Today marks the beginning of their work year. February 20th! Not their work week but work year......
To be honest I'm not sure what their work schedule is like......and I can rest assured in the fact that I do not stand alone, in that lack of knowledge.
I'm also fairly confident that the Supreme Court won't address the COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER.
When dealing with RACE, RELIGION, ABORTION RIGHTS and CAMPAIGN FINANCE.......why would the issue of DECREASED POLLINATION be of concern to the highest court in the land?
THE ANSWER
Issues dealing with Race, Religion, Abortion Rights and Campaign Finance will appear to be very tiny if Pollination Collapse becomes a reality.
I realize that this is the fourth consecutive day that I've brought up COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER....but it still appears to be the leader of issues that should be addressed....and it appears to be an issue that gets very little press.
Maybe I'll write Antonin Scalia a letter......I wonder how much mail Supreme Court Justices receive from the American public? My guess would be that they receive less mail than any branch of the government.
I keep wondering how the checks and balances issue works with a Supreme Court decision. When a ruling is issued....that seems to be the end of it.......no one can change their rulings so that pretty much eliminates the checks and balances.
The only answer is electing a President who might get lucky enough to appoint more than one Justice.
And like I said before, Franklin Roosevelt got eight.....wow.
What a lucky son of a bitch he was.
Which by the way....since yesterday was President's Day.....I ask the following.....
ROOSEVELT or LINCOLN?
I will tell you that Lincoln was the best writer. He could have been Ralph Waldo Emerson or Walt Whitman if he hadn't been needed in politics. (Lincoln, by the way, got five Judges during his term....four Associates and one Chief Justice.) I base the writing opinion on the fact that speech writers were probably not abundant during Abe's time.
How funny would it be to find out that every famous Lincoln speech and quote was actually penned by.....Fred Berkowitz...a young assistant in the Lincoln law firm.
I guess stranger things have been discovered in the annuals of United States political life.....but that would have to be quite high on the list.
Abe Lincoln seems to have been a master of his own destiny. I wonder which President started using speech writers? Perhaps they all did and Lincoln was the exception.
He sure has some great quotes.
In fact reading Abe Lincoln is like reading Shakespeare......at first I'm not exactly sure what he means and then the more I read.....the clearer it gets....and then wham.....it becomes a wow.
Try it out......Google Lincoln Quotes and have an interesting read.....the only problem I have with his work is that he failed to mention.....
COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER
I'll try to personally make up for the lack of insight on his part....regarding this important issue.
I'll need to see some front page coverage of this issue before I stop writing about it.....
BEElieve me....again.
Michael Timothy McAlevey



Monday, February 19, 2007

Simple natural flow


Phil is the man for US

Obviously Tiger Woods is the best golfer.....and it seems that he is also the most popular judging by ratings and crowds.
But to those of US who play the game as it's meant to be played...with a 10 to 20 handicap...Phil Mickelson is the man.
Of course you might debate that and say that having a 10 or 20 handicap is nowhere near how the game should be played......but the reality is......most people playing the game....don't have game. We have occasional moments and then we have occasional screw ups.....usually in the same round....and many times on the same hole.
Phil Mickelson, time and time again, allows US relate to the PGA.....and relate to the top echelon of the tour.....because without question he is one of the top five players in the world and perhaps even the second best.
But every so often he does things that allow US to say....."yeah, I know what that's like."
Tiger never allows US to feel that way and thus it becomes a surreal experience watching him carve up a course and wipe out his opponents.
Watching Phil is a very real experience because he could miss a three foot putt or scuff a small chip on the green or drive the ball 3o yards to the right, or left of the fairway. And the most amazing thing is he is a really good putter....the best short game chipper on the tour, and consistently drives the ball 300 yards.
The last thing any of US do, when watching Phil lose a tournament, is feel sorry for the guy.....
The second place cash is $560,000.00.....and he goes home to a hot wife and beautiful kids and wakes up a few days later and gets to play golf five days (normally) in a row.....every week for the rest of the year....year after year.
I will say I'm getting tired of looking at that Bearing Point hat he wears...but he's probably making $10 million just for the hat....but I have no idea what Bearing Point is but I'm fairly certain they don't make golf clubs or balls......probably just make millionaires richer.
I wonder how long the hat contract runs and will it be the only hat we ever see him wear?
It's hard to relate to the lifestyle these guys have, but thank God every so often Phil allows us the pleasure of relating to the actual game of golf.
One of the strangest parts of the story is that Phil isn't left-handed......I've heard the reason but can't remember why he plays from the left side......I think it has something to do with baseball....or a bet he lost.....and apparently he likes to make the occasional wager, which also lets us relate.
For some reason, I can't image Tiger Woods ever making a bet. And that adds to the mystique of his personality......but of course I'm sure there are friendly wagers while playing with close relations but I don't see Tiger giving 15 strokes a round....even to his wonderful mom....or his very hot wife.
Which by the way....do you think Tiger has taught his wife to play golf? I realize she's going to have a baby but during the last four years....has he been able to teach her how to swing.
Tiger and his wife swinging.....boy, now that's a story.
Phil and his hot blondie wife and Tiger and his hot blondie wife......let's see that match. And then after the round of golf they could go back to the clubhouse and pop a few cervazes and then head to the hot tub and we are now talking huge numbers for a reality show.
The Networks would scramble for that show and Fox would probably win. I don't think the Golf Channel would touch it.
Just another example of US being able to relate.......Phil would probably be up for it but Tiger would absolutely refuse.
Playing golf for a living.......almost like being in the starting rotation for a Major League baseball team.....almost.
And Phil a few years ago got to throw a little, during spring training....another example of allowing US to relate.
Thank you Phil....one more time.
Michael Timothy McAlevey

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Stop her now....weekend rapup

The Swift-Boat Veterans for Truth are back.....disguised this time as...

StopHerNow.COM and StopHillaryPAC.COM

And they are getting an early start because she poses a definite threat. A former advisor to Bill Clinton, Dick Morris, is putting together a film that will attempt to show her foibles and follies. I wonder how much of the film will be devoted towards Billy.

I've been waiting for the backlash to start because one thing to keep in mind....in the past the texture and undercurrent of Hillary consisted of two camps....

I LIKE HER

I HATE HER

and over the last three weeks there's been a lot of camp one and none of camp two.....but that is about to change.

I really want to see what negative things are said about her......it will be interesting if the complaints are that she is a strong bitchy woman.....because that might be exactly what it takes to reach the next level of political life.....especially for a woman.

She will have to be everything that a mom is.....loving, compassionate, understanding, knowledgeable, forgiving and able to make a great breakfast.

Maybe I'm a little mixed up....I guess I'm thinking of June Cleaver and Harriet Nelson.....

To be honest all I know about Hillary is that she seems to be extremely loyal and in this day and age that has to stand for something.

I hope she brings up COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER during the campaign. But then again I hope anybody brings it up....but most likely it won't be an issue until it's much much too late.

I'm not sure this is related but in a strange way it might be.....and besides this is Mind Jazz.

I'm listening to an audio tape....AMERICAN GOTHIC....about the Booth family and the assassination of Abe Lincoln. Do you realize if something like that was paralleled in today's society the shooter would be............Charlie Sheen.

How weird that John Wilkes Booth's father was regarded as the greatest actor of his time and JWBooth was regarded as the handsomest actor on the stage.

Those actors are too wacky.....and at the time the backlash on actors was tremendous....in fact it probably wasn't until Ronald Reagan that the veil of contempt was finally lifted. I think I can safely say that John Wilkes Booth, in the long run, added to the mystique of the profession.

The fact that Lincoln only got to celebrate the end of the war for five days and that he was shot on Good Friday and that he offically died the next morning at 7:22 am and that he rose from the dead on Easter Sunday......all of those facts are amazing. Talk about a man for the moment.

Christ....who was that guy?

Oh by the way...did you read about Brittney's hair shaving yesterday? I'm thinking she probably hasn't done a lot of reading lately......or maybe she's related to John Wilkes Booth and she's just simply going bonkers.....I hope she doesn't try to shoot the President.

on second thought....

That becomes a much more interesting story that Charlie Sheen.

And by the way.....the people in the news who compare Anna Nicole Smith to Marylin Monroe are unequivocally higher than a kite.....and proves that cocaine is still a factor in Hollywierd.

John Steinbeck wrote a book called CUP of GOLD.....about a 17th Century would be PIRATE.
He didn't like the book and he didn't like the cover. Today the book is being auctioned and estimates of the final bid are between $20,000 and $30,000. Of course the auction people aren't taking into consideration that Johnny Depp wants the book and will pay up to $75,000,000 to own it...(one half of his take from Pirates of the Caribbean).

Show business......what a wacky world those people weave. And to think that John Wilkes Booth started the trend of being extremely wacky. I know one other thing he did......he ended a family tradition of show business.....I can't find any other information on any other Booth's except of course Shirley and she claims that he was no relation.......which of course is something I'd probably say if my last name was Booth.

What seems to be positive about the American Gothic story is that I am being reacquainted with Lincoln's ability to write great speeches. I say reacquainted because I must have studied them from time to time....but reading a few of the less important one's, really reinforces what a great writer he was.....and having a team of speech writers wasn't the mode of the day...so he was the man.

Talk about a War President. God wouldn't even let him have a week to enjoy peace...."Get your butt up here Abe....we need you in Heaven....good writers are very hard to find.....especially ones who get to the point and don't bring up silly things like Brittney shaving her hair."

I hope Brittney doesn't announce that she's supporting Hillary......that could be a problem.....a bigger problem than those StopHillaryNow wacko's.....

Did I say wacko's? Perhaps I'm jumping the gun.......but my thoughts are currently with John Wilkes Booth so maybe that explains the momentary insanity.

I'll try to focus more on Abe and less on John but that show biz thing really does dominate the news.

I'm still much more concerned about COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER.

Have a nice Sunday......and try not to think about millions of Bee's dying......just try! Maybe it will help to think about Brittney going insane.

Michael Timothy McAlevey

Saturday, February 17, 2007

A Disorder beyond BEElief

The Eco-system is being attacked in a way that could make global warming seem like a video game.

An illness is sweeping the country and the victims are highly unappreciated and quite ignored by the general populace. The ramifications from this illness will be felt in ways that we can't imagine and things that we take for granted will simply.....disappear.

Colony Collapse Disorder is the name and the victim is the often invisible, wondrous, hard-working, misunderstood and hard to tell apart from one to the next......HONEYBEE.

Beekeepers in 22 states have reported losses up to 50% of their colonies. 50 PERCENT.

IF ANY OTHER SPECIES WAS LOSING POPULATION AT THIS RATE....THE SENATE WOULD BEE HOLDING A SPECIAL HEARING AND DEMANDING THAT THE PRESIDENT ACT.

A CCD STUDY GROUP SHOULD BE FORMED IMMEDIATELY IN CONGRESS...

TODAY!

The lost of honeybee's to the Eco-system could truly put the human population in
jeopardy......or at the very least, could affect the American standard of living....which in all truthfulness creates a bigger problem than extinction.

Altering the American standard of living might be the main reason we are fighting a war on terror. We won't tolerant nor accept the concept of having to change our daily habits....and by God, we will go anywhere and fight anyone to maintain that standard.

The loss of the Honeybee population will affect the American standard of living....and in fact this is so devastatingly disastrous that now that I think about it.....it might be a TERRORIST ATTACK.

CALL HOMELAND SECURITY!

The terrorists don't need to hit anymore buildings or poison our water or send anthrax through the mail....all they have to do is release the HONEYBEE ASSASSIN through middle America bee hive ranches and WHAM.....within twenty years bee pollination is over and the result is....

LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY....

DO YOU PERSONALLY HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT POLLINATION MEANS TO PLANT LIFE?

I'm not here to give you a third grade science lesson.....but if you simply use your common sense and think about COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER and what it means to plant life in the United States then you will start to get the picture.

You know in your heart that you've always overlooked the importance of honeybee's...because maybe once or twice in your life you felt their stinger. And please remember when you felt that stinger you just had a moment of pain....the owner of that stinger.....died.

Now I realize that their are some human beings out there who are allergic to bee stings and could possibly die if stung. I've heard rumors about those people and although I've yet to meet one I'm fairly certain they do exist. The percentage of population who are allergic to bee stings has got to be less that 1/100th of one percent.

THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE WHO WILL BE AFFECTED BY COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER.....WILL BE .....IOO PERCENT.

IF COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER GOES UNCHECKED AND ALL BEE COLONIES ARE WIPED OUT......

THIS BECOMES THE WORST DISASTER THIS COUNTRY HAS EVER EXPERIENCED.....

AND NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE.......IT'S JUST A FREAKIN
HONEYBEE.

JUST A LITTLE TEENY TINY.....HONEYBEE.

JUST OUR STANDARD OF LIVING AND PERHAPS OUR VERY EXISTENCE....

NO BIG THING

COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER......

Wake up America and solve this rapidly spreading disease....or suffer the horrible consequences...

BEELIEVE ME!

I just pray to God that this isn't one of those animal type mass suicides to protest human behavior.....we have a hard time conversing with whales and they have large brains.....bees on the other hand.....everything is so freakin small......their ears are the size of this 0....but they do have an unusual group consciousness so maybe there is a chance for communication....and oh yeah, I've actually had a few moments with a bee, so I know from whence I speak Skywalker.....


MICHAEL TIMOTHY MC ALEVEY












Friday, February 16, 2007

Getting the flu is bad but.....

Getting the flu is bad but nowhere near as bad as when your daughter gets it.....
Having someone you love be sick....is MUCH MUCH worse than getting sick yourself.

Fact of Life

No debate

Universal truth

Hopefully it won't be a long one.....but when it went past two hours
it seemed like a life time.....

I'm really not in the blogging mood.......and those of you who are parents know exactly what I mean....

everything goes out the window.....blogging, cooking, dancing, singing and even doing math homework.



Michael Timothy Mc Alevey

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Dodgers drive Chryslers out of Florida

Spring training is in the air and I'm gettin excited....bro.
And a new chapter for the Dodgers was written during this off season. The most painful chapter in Dodger history occurred in 1957 when an entire city was devastated by a simple departure of one of it's residences. People and families move on and friends and family learn to deal with it.....things happen in people's life's that create a need to relocate.....and usually communication continues by letter or phone call.
The city of Brooklyn was unable to continue any form of communication with their relocated resident because......their hearts had been ripped from the very core and smashed against some tenement wall....
The Brooklyn Dodgers were the heart and soul of that city at a time in American sports when a team really met something.
It was a time before MONEY had entered the American sports motif.....it was a time when the players lived in the neighborhood and actually stayed with a team as long as possible.
It was a time when no baseball player in the Major Leagues even knew what a Mercedes Benz was......they drove Fords and Chevy's and Oldsmobile's and sometimes if very lucky....a Cadillac.
It was a time when owners really owned a player....lock, stock and bat.
It was a time when Elvis was blowing teenage minds across the land....and parents were screaming to stop the beginning of Rock and Roll.
It was a pretty fun time in American history.....and then one day the Bums were gone and an entire city lost it's heart and soul.
Now in small town in Florida the same exact team will be duplicating the same exact type of departure starting in 2009. The difference is this time the people left in Vero Beach have an average age of 98 so when they learn of the departure they will simply be happy to learn that they can still hear.
The Dodgers are moving to Glendale, Arizona for Spring training in 2009...and they will sharing a complex with the Chicago White Sox.......which automatically intensifies the Cub/Dodger rivalry....
As a parting gift for the city of Vero Beach the Dodgers have agreed to give a Mercedes Benz to every resident who can still drive. Of course that's only 12 people and one of those people was contacted this morning and made the following comment.....
"Do you know the difference from a Mercedes Benz and a hemorrhoid?" The reporter said that no he didn't. The old man from Vero looked like he was trying to remember what they hell he was talking about and then said...
"There isn't any.....eventually every asshole gets one."
The city of Vero Beach will recover....because some other team will probably move into the complex....but of course the street names will have to be changed and Dodgertown will be renamed Senatortown.....and of course we know that all the Senators drive Mercedes, so all will be fine.
The fact that Dieter Zetsche of Daimler Chrysler wants to shorten the name to Daimler shouldn't be a surprise to anyone.....I'm just surprised he doesn't change the name to "Dieter".
Those Germans......can't live with em.....can't live without em....
On second thought....
This morning in the LA Times they have a picture of the 1959 Dodger pitching staff....and the first player shown on the left is Don Drysdale.....who Ron Fairly says "is one of the greatest athletes who ever lived."
I can't begin to put him into that type of category but I will say....as far as Major League Pitchers are concerned.....he most definitely has a special niche. One only has to ask Hall of Famers like Willie Mays and Willie McCovey what they thought about Drysdale.
One only has to ask his teammates to relay stories about Don to really get the bigger picture of what a larger than life figure he was.......and nobody has ever duplicated his unique pitching delivery.....NO ONE. His pitching motion is one of the most beautiful visual memories that I cherish when it comes to remembering Major League baseball and the players...and the fact that no one has come along and duplicated the motion, really proves how unique he was.
And Don Drysdale played major league baseball at a time when party was a good word among players.
Today when one associates the word party with a player then that player doesn't have a very bright future.....and arrests and scandal are probably just around the corner.
In Don's day the party happened at his Bar....which he owned in the San Fernando Valley.....
and apparently the party didn't end at the bar.
Please keep one important thing in mind. Most forms of partying in those days took place with legal stimulation better known as.....booze. There might have been the occasional upper but the phrase human growth hormone hadn't been invented and a steroid was disguised as a Cortisone shot.
Of course it was also a time when Chrysler stood alone as the number 3 car marker in the world.
To be truthful I know as much about cars as I do about what makes women tick....so I'm not sure of the last statement but they were highly ranked at one time in the automotive world.
Now it looks like they are being released from the German connection.....which can't really be a bad thing....because the Germans always seem to go flipping nuts.
Maybe Chrysler should buy a ball club and take over Vero Beach. Create a special car just for baseball fans....keeping in mind that 260 million people went through Major League turnstile's last year.
Things change in life and people move on and teams move on and electric cars will never be an issue as long as oil companies can find oil. When the oil dries up, the oil companies will move to another venue because by then they will actually control all the money in the universe.
And I realize that last statement has nothing to do with the above article but I'm still pissed over Prop 87 and how freakin stupid the voters were.......
Proposition 87 GOT KILLED....IT WASN'T EVEN CLOSE.
THAT'S SCARY
The Dodger's moving to Arizona is way down the list of scary things....and Dietier dumping Chrylser is only scary for the 13,000 people who are losing their jobs....of which I can guarentee you....not one of them lives in Vero Beach because it's very hard to get 97 year old people showing up for work every day.
Pitchers and cathers report in as few days.....to Dodgertown in Vero Beach Florida. I wonder how the residents will treat them over the next two years.
Oh well....things change.
Michael Timothy McAlevey

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Hearts of Sadr and North Korea

It's Valentine's Day and hopefully it means something to you...which translates to.....you've got someone sharing a bed....either every night or enough time during a month...that requires you to stop and pick up a little something for the sweetheart...... OR you are in grammar school....or there is the possibility that you are simply a hopeless romantic and this is your favorite holiday of the year. Love those sweetheart stories....sweetheart.

Muqtada Sadr decided to travel to Iran to visit with his sweetheart....better known as the Ayatollah ....OH MY GOD....what a couple. Next year their pictures will be on numerous Hallmark cards.

" WE ARE WISHING YOU THE VERY BEST INSURGENCY YEAR OF YOUR LIFE....
MAY ALLAH SEPARATE YOUR SOUL BEFORE YOU PULL THE PIN."

with land mine love
Muqtada and Ayatollad

Seriously......I would be very concerned that these two freakin guys are meeting.....but maybe it's just a vacation. After all.....it's probably been awhile since Sadr had a chance to kick back and chill....watch a little TV and smoke some rope.

Those Shiite's! Can't live with em...can't live without em......

but on second thought.....

On on to North Korea........

THE PRICE IS RIGHT has hit the shores of Pyongyang...and Kim Jong Il's bank account just reached another level. The problem seems to be that the people aren't receiving anything resembling help or aid.

The UN inspector's shouldn't be checking out the Nuclear plants....they should be checking out the hospitals and the streets. Nourishment should be the first and foremost concern of the UN.

The people of North Korea have an average weight of 73 pounds.

Of course silly....I just made that up but that's the kind of info the UN should be collecting. I'm fairly certain that Weight Watchers doesn't have an office in North Korea....

Hopefully this new agreement will somehow translate to food for the masses.....but it's unlikely in the face of what seems to be a lack of concern on the part of the leaders.....and now that I think about it.....isn't Kim a little fat guy.....maybe the people should rise up and eat him.....

Oh the horror!

I'm not promoting cannibalism but sometimes things happen on the way over Donner Pass and things need to be done that normally won't be done.....

I'm trying to figure out some way to to get Muqtada and Kim together for Valentine's Day.....
but the Ayatollah is such a jealous sort......he needs to learn to share the love and tenderness that appears to be such a large part of of his personality.

Hearts of Gold
or
Hearts of Stone

or just totally over the top on religious viewpoints and translations of a freakin book?

That's the question on Valentine's Day.........


Michael Timothy McAlevey

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Putin in the mix

I think most Americans have no idea what the hell Vladimir Putin is talking about.....and even a globally aware person, such as myself, really wonders what stick is up his ass.

As I read further I slowly start to see glimpses of the stick.

Apparently the stick was carved from a NATO forest.

The average American couldn't give a rat's ass about NATO.

Please note that only 50% of the voting population care about politics IN THIS COUNTRY....so then how far down the list of concern....are the actions of NATO?

I would think that NATO, for the average American, would be ranked right after the concern of whether or not Vin Diesel will make another movie.

NATO means nothing to the American public.

NATO IS CLIMBING UP THE WEATHERED BACK OF A HAMMERED AND BROWBEATEN, DISASSEMBLED AND FRAGMENTED, TROUBLED AND DYSFUNCTIONAL PLACE CALLED....

RUSSIA

and Russia might just be a tad bit less important than NATO to the average American....except of course for those of us who experienced the COLD WAR and watched military and space competitions get totally out of hand...until Russia folded with a pair of two's....and we had a Royal Flush. Now that's celebrity poker!

Supposedly our government wasn't going to support the inclusion of Russia's former Warsaw Pact members AND more importantly Soviet Baltic republics.....into NATO.

THIS IS THE ISSUE THAT IS DRIVING THE STICK FURTHER UP PUTIN'S ASS.

RUSSIA is feeling a lot like the soap opera star actor ex-husband who's recently divorced wife just got engaged to Brad Pitt.....and then his kids want Brad to adopt them, and then his kids tell him they are actually changing their last names to Pitt.....AND THEN THEY START CALLING BRAD..............DADDY.

IT'S HARD TO TAKE

The American people have other things on their mind at this time.......and Russia's moaning and groaning doesn't really matter. But it's important to remember that Russia has the ability to create and sell weapons to anyone that has the cash. And they are having cash problems so when looking to where there might be cash......let's see......are there any middle eastern countries who have cash and need weapons?

HELLO........ANYONE HOME?

We might not care what Vladimir Putin thinks about the United States.....but then again our current administration doesn't seem to give a flying f..k what anybody thinks about the United States.

We are involved in a war with TERRORISM and everything else pales by comparison.

The problem is.....we could use some help in that war.....and Russia might have been interested in participating if the price had been right. Money talks....bullshit walks. Russia needs money.
They don't need EX-RUSSIAN satellite countries becoming part of another system that seems to exclude the Russian complex.

I REALIZE THAT BECOMING A PART OF SOMETHING THAT ISN'T RUSSIA MIGHT BE A WONDERFUL THING FOR FORMER MEMBERS OF MOTHER RUSSIA..... BUT IF GEORGIA AND UKRAINE TRY TO JOIN NATO THEN THE SHAT WILL REALLY HIT THE FAN.

We need to be working with Mr. Putin simply because he isn't a big fan of democracy and we are doing nothing to help change his mind.

Please note that if and when China rises up and decides to go military bonkers.....Russia will be aliened with the United States....just as it had been twice in the 20th Century.

The fact that Russia lost 20 million people in WWll should at the very least make us compassionate to their plight. We always hear about the tremendous losses suffered by others during WWll....but 20 million!

Seems like it doesn't get enough airtime....but again, the American people might have a slight tendency to think of COMMUNISM and then think...

f..k em if they can't take a joke.....we'll NATO them until they Putin it completely to bed.

I really think we need to listen to someone other than the current administration and I sure as hell don't want to hear anything China has to say about....anything. China will become our primary problem within a very short time. China already is our problem in areas that we don't seem to acknowledge because they have .13 cent sport socks....and .68 cent sandals...

But like they say....that's another story.

So when we look around the world....

Russia should be someone we feel somewhat obligated to help....considering we helped get them to the point they are at......and the reality of a new emerging democratic socialized communal government (we have no idea what is happening there) should concern us.

WE SHOULD AT LEAST BE INTERESTED IN WHAT THEY SAY and try to strengthen some relationships instead of just simply pissing everyone off.

We can OK CORRAL the entire world or maybe try to encourage certain friendships from those we ko'd previously.

It's a good idea to act a little bit less arrogant....when you are able to throw 110 mph fastballs.

And of course I had to end today with a reference to baseball because this morning was the first article on the Dodgers for 2007. Next week players report to spring training and that my friends.....means one thing and one thing only......

Play Ball.

Maybe George will invite Vladimir over....to throw out the first ball.......

ANYTHING TO HELP BESIDES SNICKERING.....and anything to maybe help Putin back in the mix.

We need him to believe in our system of government.......and he really needs anything positive that he can get from us....anything.....and most likely the color green makes the most sense.

Russia needs to start making something we want.......and why not start with socks for 12 cents and sandals for 65 cents.

Now we are talking.....

PLAY BALL VLADIMIR.....GET THOSE NEW FACTORIES BUILT AND SHOW CHINA A THING OR TWO ABOUT A WORK FORCE.

USE THE SAME INTENSITY THAT WAS DISPLAYED IN BUILDING A WAR MACHINE AND USE THE SAME RESOLVE DISPLAYED IN OVERCOMING THE LOSS OF 20 MILLION PEOPLE.

PLAY BALL PUTIN......AND WE WILL PLAY WITH YOU.

GIVE US A REASON.

WE LIKE TO.....

PLAY BALL


MICHAEL TIMOTHY MC ALEVEY




















Monday, February 12, 2007

Chicks....chicks and more chicks....

As a precursor for the possible election of the first women President in 2008...the Dixie Chicks being honored by the Grammy's, after being snubbed by the Country Music Awards, might seem somewhat important....BUT...it means nothing compared to what just took place in the old boy's enclave, better known as Harvard University.

For the first time in 371 years a chick has been named president of that prestigious school and this one is from Virginia and just happens to be a Civil War expert....so there is a little Dixie involved.

Drew Gilpin Faust stated that this was probably inconceivable even a generation ago.....which translates to 30 years, by definition. Depending on who makes the final decision on appointing the president of Harvard....it might have been inconceivable a week ago. A seven member panel made the final selection and it would be interesting to know the panels gender.

If it turns out to be seven men then it really might be possible for Hillary to win the election...but I highly doubt that seven men could agree on anything, other than where the troops are placed, without the help of a few chicks. Men have the war thing down fairly pat and really don't seem to need help when it comes to those kind of games.

This appointment could simply be a response to the previous president, Lawrence H. Summers and his "infamous" quote he made a few years ago when he said something about women lacking "intrinsic aptitude" for science. A remark similar to what Al Campanis said when he claimed blacks couldn't swim.....or that the Pope should poop in the woods or more recently when the real Dick leader said it wasn't a civil war in Iraq. People say the darnest things.

I get so confused when I hear certain statements. I wonder if they are fully intentional or just off hand remarks....like the Dixie Chicks getting slammed because they were ashamed George W. was from Texas. Those of us who have always regarded Texas with a slight touch of ....."huh"... know exactly what they were talking about. Political opponents of those in power often times have issues with those who hail from the same local. I'm still trying to figure out how Ronald Reagan pulled off his freakin Houdini existence. Maybe a nice guy....but President of The United States.....seriously?????? But it happened and George W. is happening and a woman is now the top dog at Harvard University. The expression..."who's your bitch now" takes on an entirely new meaning.
Reading a bit further in the article I discover that the selection committee consists of at least one woman....Susan Graham, professor emerita of science and engineering at UC Berkeley....so Harvard is really separating itself from Mr. Summers....who used to be the U.S. Treasury secretary. He'll probably find a new job in the administration.....I'm sure there are enough ole' boys still hanging around to find him a small paycheck.
The slap at country western music establishment regarding their treatment of the Dixie Chicks is significant if you give one flying crap about music. If you don't think music helps set tones and patterns for social behavior then this next statement will really be a stretch.
The Dixie Chicks awards at this years Grammy's is letting middle America know that the East and West coast population will not allow the Presidential election to be decided by a vocal minority....no matter how righteous they try to appear.
This is America....and the right to bitch and complain is our greatest right. Our duty is too help make it a better country, but it's our right is stand up and say.....bullshit.
No one could stop Toby Keith and the President for whacking The Chicks when they they made their comments......and no one could stop the members of the main stream musical establishment when they answered back last night at the Grammy's.
It would be one thing is it wasn't great music.....but the Dixie Chicks album, "Taking the Long Way" is ......hot....and is something that should be enjoyed by all music lovers. It's sad that a huge number of country western fans didn't buy the album......but that's their form of standing up and yelling....and boycotting might be second in line to bitching and complaining, as far as a truly American right.
You can bitch and complain all you want but if you conduct a massive boycott...the ramifications are felt in ways that will last for a very long time. The simple fact is; bitching and complaining takes place every day and boycotting is a rare occurrence.
There seems to have been a successful boycott of the Dixie Chicks, but last night's awards could create sales from an audience that might not listen to that particular genre of music. And if that's true then the boycott will be a thing of the past.
It will be interesting to look up the numbers regarding their sales on "Taking the Long Way." I might find out that they still sold 5 million copies....but they normally sell 25 million. I'll look it up and report back later. If you want instant answers.....you know where to look.
You simply type in Drew Gilpin Faust and contact the new pres of Harvard and ask her anything you want. It's not like she won't have time on her hands....after all she's just a housewife....or a mom....or a wife....or a girlfriend....and all she does is watch TV all day and do a little laundry between shows.
Chicks........what a hoot......are they too much or what?
President of Harvard......if this nonsense doesn't stop, a chick could end up in the White House......but keep one thing in mind.....that's what the Reagan Presidency stood for......ANYBODY CAN BE PRESIDENT......
EVEN A FREAKIN CHICK......
Go Girl!
Michael Timothy McAlevey

Friday, February 9, 2007

Just read the label

Pick up today's Los Angeles Times and go to the back page of the first section. Read the top article and write down the actual names of chemicals listed.

I found one of those names in my bathroom....

Not a lot of work but could save you some future problems.

Michael Timothy McAlevey

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Hallelujah

First I've got to acknowledge the song writer.....kudos to Leonard Cohen for penciling a wonderful song....HALLELUJAH.

But after listening to Jeff Buckley's version I honestly feel like I never heard the song before....and it is a song that needs to be listened to...repeatedly.

Once you become aware of the circumstances regarding Jeff Buckley's short and remarkable contribution to the world of music...you can't help but cry while the song plays.

The CD is called "Grace" and it is a well kept secret....except of course to people who know music and regard musical history as something important to the "soul development" of a entire society.

And while I enjoy certain musical moments...I am by no means a fanatical music fan. I have my favorites and I listen to them in the car...occasionally. It's very hard to drive and not listen to audio books....as an example I just finished listening to Hemingway's ISLAND IN THE STREAM....and although it's not anywhere near as good as BAT OUT OF HELL...it really makes me feel like I practicing the art of "attempting" to be.....smarter.

But listening to Jeff Buckley's version of HALLELUJAH really makes me feel connected to a part of society that I might never encounter.

I have some young friends who are musical ingenues, who could possibly make their mark in the complex world of music....but the one thing they seem to be....is practical....and being practical generally means putting the deepest dreams on hold and doing what needs to be done as far as work and having a family.

I see the passion but I don't know what takes a musical person to the next level....It might be more than talent....it might be some previous life debt collection......it might be exercise, diet and prayer......but I can tell you one very important thing.....

IF IT MEANS HAVING A LIFE EXPERIENCE THAT IS SHORTENED, AS WITH JEFF BUCKLEY, THEN I NEVER WANT MY FRIENDS TO EVER SING OR PLAY ANOTHER FREAKIN NOTE FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

If on the other hand they keep improving and working towards various levels of musical accomplishments that put them into many different musical experiences...then I say....

THAT'S THE WAY TO ROLL

Listening to Jeff Buckley I get sad....but when a great artist leaves behind a great work then it's ok to be sad.....and always remember the following NEO-ILLUMINATION....

"Soul Awareness Development is SAD for awhile....and then it simply becomes obvious....
that sad can't be."

If you know who Jeff is then you know exactly what I'm talking about.
If you don't know who Jeff is...then you need to learn.

It's a wonderful gift and it comes with GRACE

Hallelujah

Michael Timothy McAlevey



Monday, February 5, 2007

Where's my glove?

Monday morning, the day after the Super Bowl, and glances are being directed toward the baseball gloves and questions are starting to be asked.

Questions like....do I need a new pair of baseball shoes this season....should I get tickets to spring training this year.....is Global Warming really bad if it creates longer baseball seasons.....does Prince really sign his name like that symbol that was his stage....Tony Dungy really doesn't cuss.....is Peyton Manning going to be in 50% of all commercials made in the next year......will we hit Iran next or just leave that to the Israeli Division.....should I buy new batting gloves before I go to the batting cages......does Barry Bonds really think he will skate through the steroid issue or does he even give a flying f..k.......Does Kerry Wood still play baseball.....does anyone know the name of last year's American League MVP without looking it up.....Does Ron Fairly really have a 12 year old baseball fan in Israel......is Doonesbury the modern Kreskin....is David Copperfield really still alive or just performing a trick.....does Seamus have any idea how many french fries are laying around different parts of the house.....can I still hit the curve ball.....can I still hit the fastball.....will my curve ball work this year....have I lost any speed on my fastball....is Icahro in his own league.....Tony Dungy really doesn't cuss.....is PRO ME the coolest album debut that nobody has ever heard......does 13 years sometimes feel like 13 minutes.....is it possible for our team to make the World Series this year.....???????????????????
Now there are a few questions listed above that are only being asked by 800 male members of the human race, living in the United States of America. And without question many of us regard those 800 men as the luckiest dudes on the planet. Being able to play Major League Baseball and receive a salary starting at $350,000.00 a year.....and starting means nothing because the average salary is over $2 million...but please keep one important thing in mind.....the money really isn't the reason they play....no amount of money can help somebody hit a curve ball or go to the hole at shortstop or track down a deep fly in the gap. The money in baseball is simply a bonus being granted to the luckiest f..king guys on the planet. Winning a lottery can be considered a lucky moment....but it's only a moment.
Playing Major League baseball is a JOB.
Think about that for a few minutes.....A JOB. There are 800 men this morning who are looking at their wives and kids and thinking...."man, I've got to go to work....IN A MONTH.....and then work until October....IF I'M LUCKY....what a bummer."
PLAYING MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL IS A JOB.
Now I realize that among the 800 men there will be at least 50 that will be new to their jobs...which means there will be 50 who will lose their jobs and those 50 will be really bummed out, unless of course they've already been working for an extended period of time and it's just time to be put out to pasture....but even those OLD guys in their late 30's will still be suffering PPT (post playing trauma.)...it's not easy losing your job when your job is playing major league baseball.........but sometimes reality does have a way of jumping up and biting one in the ass....and the fact that someone can no longer play major league baseball causes a ripple affect in Dufar and the warlords start acting like bigger idiots then they already are.....which brings me to a real question.
What do think is the percentage of major league baseball players who actually have heard of Dufar?
I just said they were the luckiest guys on the planet....not the best or the brightest....just the luckiest.
I keep thinking about this morning and what those 800 guys are saying to their families......"Now if you have anything you want done around the house.....hurry up and let me know, because I've got to go to WORK in a month, and I'll be gone until September....unless I'm really lucky and then I won't be home until the end of October."
The families of those 800 guys might not be the luckiest families in the world but with proper counseling and good money management they should be able to weather the storm.
Everyone has to make sacrifices......
Everyone except those freakin 800 luckiest guys on the planet. And after everything is said and done, the only scarifices they make are done by the pitchers and they screw it up more times than not....but it's not really what they do, so nobody really gets upset. Pitchers are beyond the scope of lucky.....Pitchers are reincarnated souls of people who have suffered greatly in previous lifetimes.....there is no explanation other than karmic balance to explain the life of a Major League Pitcher. And seriously if you want to have a brain aneurysm just try to contemplate the reality of Roger Clemen's job.....just think about what he does, when he does it and how much he gets paid to do it.....and POP there goes a vein just above the left ear.
Roger Clemens this morning to his family......."I'm just not sure if I want to go to work in June or July this year.....maybe I'll just wait until August....but if do that, I'll probably only get $15 million instead of $23 million." And then his darling wife pops in with...."Don't expect me to cut back on anything....I refuse to change my style of living just because you don't want to go to work."
Like I said before.....we all have to make some sacrifices along the way....and when we do make sacrifices....the least we can do is get the freakin bunt down. I don't think it's asking to much....after all it's part of your job.
The juxtaposition of using we and your when talking about Major League baseball is exactly why 290 million people attend Major League baseball games every year. We know how lucky those bastards are and we support anyone who has a chance to be that lucky.
We, as American citizens, support luck and we encourage that trait so that it just might spread it's elusive aura some where around our personal environments.
Where's my glove....honey? I've got to go to work.
Michael Timothy McAlevey